User:Logangarvin/Hōei eruption/Eschaef2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Hoei eruption


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Logangarvin/H%C5%8Dei_eruption?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Hōei eruption

Evaluate the drafted changes
The "local implications" section is strong and the references used in this section are scholarly and reputable. If more information can be found, this would be a great section to build more on. However, some of this information overlaps with the "effect on local communities" section in the original article, so it may be better to simply add to that section rather than creating a new but similar section. The "threat of more eruptions" section is a good addition but is written in a way that is not very fluid. They could improve this by connecting the ideas in each sentence more, such as saying "damage from this future eruption is estimated..." rather than just saying "damage is estimated...". Overall both of these sections work well but could be improved by switching some sentences around to other sections and improving the fluidity of the ideas.

Dylan's Peer Review Response
I appreciate your peer review and will definitely take your suggestions into account when revising and going forward in our article. I agree that more information in the "local implications" section could make it very strong. I do also agree that there is overlapping information in between the two sections "local implications" and "effect on local communities" so perhaps we can make them into one section. I also do agree that the "threat of more eruptions" section needs to be more fluid. Overall I think your advice is very helpful and could benefit our article.