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Lorayne Burt

= Two Sisters Make Rivalry an Asset =

Published: September 15, 1988
BERKELEY, Calif., Sept. 14— Elizabeth Mead Steig, Margaret Mead's sister, was once quoted as saying: '' You can tell your sister to go to hell in 10 different langauges, but if you need a dime she'll give you one. ''
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Gloria Burt, the 37-year-old vice president of a computer distributorship here, once considered her younger sister, Teryl, worth even less than a dime. When, at the ages of 8 and 6, they were living in Woodstock, Ill., Gloria sold Teryl to a neighbor for a nickel.

Fortunately, Gloria had the good sense to buy Teryl back.

Today, Teryl Burt, 35, a former high-school English teacher, is the president of Northern Lights Computers, a $12 million-a-year business. Gloria Burt, a former social worker, is the vice president of the company, which they jointly own.

Two years ago, Inc. magazine ranked Northern Lights as one of the United States' 500 fastest-growing privately held companies.

Northern Lights ranked third among the companies run by women.

Just staying afloat in the turbulent waters of the computer industry is an accomplishment in itself.

It is all the more noteworthy for two women to succeed in a male-dominated field  dense with sharks in three-piece suits,  as Sheila Brantz, the president of a computer distributorship near Atlanta, put it.

The Burts also represent a rare exception to the norm of adult sibling relationships.

The societal dictum is you never say no to your own blood, yet it would be very difficult for two siblings to go into business together, said Dr. Joel Milgram, an associate professor of education at the University of Cincinnati. They would have to overcome significant unresolved issues from their childhood.

In a 1980 study of 65 siblings age 25 to 93, Dr. Milgram and the late Dr. Helgola Ross found that rivalry persisted into adulthood for almost half the brothers and sisters they interviewed.

As Dr. Milgram and other researchers studying siblings point out, sisters tend to have more intimate and supportive relationships than do brothers. Yet, he said, a successful partnership would teeter on the delicate balance of competition and camaraderie that exists among all sisters.

The Burt sisters brought plenty of emotional baggage from their youth to their business partnership.

Gloria was the little mother, the taskmaster, and Teryl was more independent, feisty, said their younger brother, Herb Burt Jr., 33, who joined Northern Lights last year as a system sales representative. ''As kids, they could never agree on anything. When they first asked me to work for them, I laughed and said, 'You guys won't make it together a year.' ''

Now, after 10 years of working together, the sisters have earned the admiration of friends, family and colleagues.

When I went to work with Teryl, Gloria Burt said, ''I spent the first months thinking this was the dumbest thing I'd ever done. All I could think of was the room we used to share as kids and the two of us piling our clothes into the corner. I thought to myself, 'How am I ever going to get everything under control?' ''

Teryl Burt's fear was that her older sister would do precisely that - take control of the company she had started.  I had a definite idea of what I wanted to happen with this business,  she said. '' I'm stubborn. I wanted to make sure she didn't override me. I wanted a business partner, not a therapist. ''

Teryl Burt remembers the contrasts between her and her sister as they were growing up: '' Gloria was the smarter sister. She was good; I was bad. I was the rebel. I hung out with a wild crowd. ''

In high school, there was a great deal of rivalry between the two. Then somehow we reversed roles, Teryl said. ''Gloria demonstrated against the war in Vietnam and was detained by the police. She moved to Seattle and became a social worker. I stayed closer to home, helped our parents in their store and taught school.''

The sisters stayed in touch, however, and slowly began to cement a strong relationship as adults. When Teryl moved to Berkeley and started Northern Lights, she did not think twice about asking Gloria to join her: '' There was only one person I knew I could totally trust and depend on: my sister. ''

After a decade in business together, I've never worked with anybody with whom I feel as comfortable, Gloria said. I couldn't imagine working with anyone else.

The sisters attribute their successful partnership to strong, family-oriented values. Before they retired last year, their parents, Herb and Lorayne Burt, owned and operated a combination delicatessen and health-food store in Highland Park, Ill., where their children often worked behind the counter.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that the family that works together stays together, but it certainly created strong bonds, Mrs. Burt said. Whenever they fought, I made them go back and work it out until they made up.

Dr. Michael D. Kahn, a psychology professor at the University of Hartford and the senior editor of  Siblings in Therapy: Life Span and Clinical Issues  (Norton, 1988), said the willingness to engage in fights often '' augurs well for an enduring sibling relationship. ''

I worry more about brothers and sisters who avoid conflict and struggle, leaving issues to fester sometimes for a lifetime, he said. A parent who encourages working it out subtly conveys optimism, confidence and cooperation.

To make their partnership work, the Burts adhere to three basic rules: 1.When they disagree, whoever feels more strongly gets her way but must also do all the work involved. 2.They treat each other as they would anyone else in the company -that is, with as much respect and as little deferential treatment as possible. 3.When all else fails, they fight it out.

Most professional associates have never seen them resort to that last rule.  To the extent that there is friction - and there will always be friction in any relationship - they surmount it with mutual trust and shared goals,  said Andrew Olmsted, 37, who has worked closely with them for five years as Northern Lights' marketing director.

Elizabeth Fishel, who wrote  Sisters: Love and Rivalry Inside the Family and Beyond  (William Morrow/Quill, 1985), said: '' It's rather unusual to find sisters working side by side. It's more typical of them to pursue diverging interests and different areas of expertise, which helps mitigate against the inherent competition between them. ''

And that is exactly the sisters have done. Teryl, who said she prefers  the big picture,  oversees sales, marketing and finance. Gloria, who likes hands-on work, is in charge of operations and purchasing. They have developed a participatory management style  so that none of our decisions are made in a vacuum,  Teryl said.

They have also learned to complement each other. At a weekly executive staff meeting, for example, Teryl plowed through the agenda, while Gloria probed the pros and cons of corporate policy in a gentle counterpoint. Later, in a conference with two high-powered computer salesmen, the two alternately, and adeptly, parried strong sales pitches.

The sisters acknowledge  once-a-month screaming bouts,  as Gloria described them, but these take place only behind closed doors.  Our typical fights are over how we should take better care of ourselves,  Gloria said.

Last year, their relationship faced its toughest test. In the wake of product shortages, the sales of their Toshiba line dropped from $600,000 a month in April to nearly zero in the period of May through August, a loss of 30 percent of Northern Lights' business.

 We really thought maybe we should get out,  Gloria said. '' We had some tough knock-down-drag-out battles then. In terms of our relationship, we realized when things got tense, when I felt everything crumbling, that it brought us closer than ever. ''

photo of Teryl and Gloria Burt with their parents (AP) (pg. C12)