User:Loseej1/sandbox

Straight Edge
Straight Edge is a movement which emerged in the 1980s stemming from the larger punk subculture. As the Wikipedia page explains in the overview, individuals who identify as straight edge withhold from drug and alcohol use as well as avoid promiscuous sexual activities. While these are the core values of the straight edge scene, the page does not explain the ideology behind the movement. The philosophy of straight edge is more complex than simply abstaining from drug and alcohol use. The             current Wikipedia page touches on the fact that there have been several straight edge movements. However, the page does not go into detail the differences of these            movements. In addition, the page does not discuss the downfalls of the movement. The page should include the exclusivity of various points of the movement. The lay out of the page should be rearranged. After the initial overview, the first section is "approaches." This section should be moved to after the "history" section as it will make more sense to readers after having read about the various elements of the movement. The "history" section needs revisions. This section should discuss in greater detail the ideologies the movement was founded on. A subsection discussing the last and most recent wave of straight edge should be added. This subsection should also include the change in music style and politics.

History
Straight edge scenes are comprised of predominantly white middle class men from teenagers to those in their 30s. The movement was influenced by the political and social climate of its origin, around the time of the "Just Say No” campaign and a rise in conservative viewpoints. The discipline of the subculture came from a mix of leftist radicalism and conservative influences.

Women
Women were pushed aside during the beginnings of the straight edge movement. As also seen with hardcore punk subculture, the movements based their communities on masculinity, forming brotherhoods and leaving little to no space for women to participate. However, the movement has improved with the most recent wave. Being straight edge is a safer alternative for women as they can avoid dangerous situations involving alcohol and other substances. The culture looks down on sexual promiscuity and            thus there is a lesser chance of sexual assault when going to shows or participating in events.

Ideology
The idea behind the movement was to take control of yourself rather than allowing others to take control of you. The movement stemmed from punk as both were rebellious in nature. In the early stages of straight edge, the philosophy was to rebel through self-control. With the ability to control one’s actions would better             suit them to stand up against the mainstream. The first wave of straight edge did not impose rules on others, rather participants chose to follow the ways of self-control. With the second wave of straight edge these rules were used to control others. In addition the second wave experienced a change in music style. Where the first wave was influenced by hardcore punk, the second brought in aspects of heavy metal which further pushed for power and control over others. The slowing down of the music reflected the focus of individuals in their journey to self control.

Peer Review from Sam Hollander
This is such an interesting topic! You definitely need citations in your introduction. So far you've got a lot of statements that seem more opinion-based than fact/citation-based. This looks more like an evaluation than a draft of the new, reworked page. Good work so far!

-S.H.

Thank you for the feedback
Thank you for your feedback, will definitely take your points into consideration!

- J.L.