User:Lovebird.butterfly.turtle/Wildlife Conservation Society/Erobertson222 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/CBM33

https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Lovebird.butterfly.turtle


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lovebird.butterfly.turtle/Wildlife_Conservation_Society?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Wildlife Conservation Society

Evaluate the drafted changes
From reading the current version of the article and the sandbox page I was able to notice areas that could use some improvements as well as Wikipedia itself acknowledging that the current version of the article relies too much on references to primary sources as well as the article containing a list of general resources but lacking sufficient corresponding inline citations. I would suggest digging deep to see what sections or words are being flagged for Wikipedia to give such suggestion. As for the lead section, my suggestion is maybe summarizing what the Wildlife Conservation Society has evolved into and maybe acknowledging the current projects they are working on but not going too into depth.

Underneath the "Work" section, I noticed the statement, "The saving of this symbolic American animal is one of the greatest success stories in the history of wildlife conservation" doesn't seem neutral with the word "greatest". I suggest rewording the statement and maybe finding a citation where it shows statistics that this had a greater impact than other animals who were being tended to. Also, the last sentence underneath the "Work" section says, "In July 2020, the Wildlife Conservation Society apologized" doesn't give clear clarification on what they are apologizing for so maybe going into depth here would help.

The only other suggestions I could find were including other countries or continents that they previously worked with and what difference it has made (adding more content to international projects). Besides these suggestions, I think you are off to a good start.