User:Lrr00006/Monongah Mine Disaster/Se2032 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(lrr00006)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Lrr00006/Monongah Mine Disaster


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Monongah mining disaster

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead: I think that you could elaborate on the introduction of your original article. However, I do enjoy your additional headers/subtropics.

Content: Your content was a great addition! I think that you could benefit from imitating the original author's writing style to make the article more cohesive with your added information. I would also elaborate on the memorial and the coal collecting. I was a little confused by your wording, but everything was relevant.

Tone and Balance: Neutral and and great on rhetoric (the memorial).

Sources and References: Your references are up to date and the links work, be sure to add in more sources. The original article has a fair amount, but it wouldn't hurt to add more.

Organization: Again, I enjoy your added headings. A little work on wording it needed for it to be clear. I'd also add onto the committees.

Images and Media: I feel that the original article has a sufficient amount photos for the information it has, but one or two more wouldn't hurt.

Overall Impressions: Great! I feel that you made an excellent addition. What do plan to add next? I would look at the article "Upper Big Branch Mining Disaster" as a reference. I used this article for my genre analysis, and I feel you could get some ideas from it! Hope this helps!