User:Lsmith44/Evolution of Sex Determination in Invertebrates/BelleKahlua Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lsmith44


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Lsmith44/Evolution of Sex Determination in C. elegans


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * User:Lsmith44/Evolution of Sex Determination in C. elegans

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: I think the lead section set up the reader to know what to expect in the following article. I loved that you added the C. elegan photo as well. I think who ever left comments before me accidentally deleted words etc because there were a few places that were confusing but I think this was due to the comments and not the initial writing. I think the lead defined the subject of the article and was concise and not to wordy. good job!

Content: I think the content was great. It was informative but understandable as well as being interesting. I did leave a few comments just on grammar, sentence structure (a spot where it was redundant or sentences could be added together). I think this article would also improve if wiki links were added for terms that other readers may not know. I do think the information flowed well and was overall well written.

Tone/Balance: The tone was neutral. I don't think the author was trying to persuade readers in one direction or another.

Sources: I think there was a good balance of older sources as well as some newer ones. I know nothing about C. elegans so I have no idea if newer sources could be added to make it more up to date but to me it sounded good. I did leave a few spots where I wasn't sure if the information came directly from the author or if it needed a citation or not.

Organtization: I think the paper was vey well organized and logically followed the path that was set up in the lead section. I would recommend changing the Background heading to C. elegans or something like that just so it doesn't seem like a journal article or essay paper format. Other than that I enjoyed the paper and that it was a super cool topic!!