User:LuckyDatLlama/Los Angeles River/HandsomeSquidward311 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

LuckyDatLlama, BonklesMcGinty


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:LuckyDatLlama/Los_Angeles_River?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Los Angeles River

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead:

New information added to the leading paragraph is great, although, If there is a time period known when the "Tongva" lived in the area, it should be added. Also, the sentence "Spanish explorers and settlers established an indigenous community alongside the river..." is unclear. It reads as though the Spanish are Indigenous. Otherwise, the section looks great and I think it'll fit nicely in the original text.

Content:

I like the mention of added environmental effects to the taming the river I section. I am curious myself to know how that influenced the surrounding ecosystem.

Great section on the Mexican-American war. Where will it go? My only suggestion is to remove the first-person language. I don't think it's allowed.

Overall, these contributions, along with the notes for further additions, will improve the existing article's quality. Everything within the draft supports the rest of the existing article's content.

The citation links for the first and second lead to the Gale institution database. Is there a way to link the text for those who aren't associated with an academic institution?