User:Lucyniyaz/Deafness in Uzbekistan/Danielmogil Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Lucy - @Lucyniyaz
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Lucyniyaz/Deafness in Uzbekistan
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * Weak first sentence.
 * Strong second sentence, I like the quantification.
 * Add reference for third sentence.
 * I would move the dialect/post-Soviet country info to a different portion of the article (History perhaps [or broaden History to Background]). Doesn't directly relate to Deafness in Uzbekistan or introduce a subtopic (so I wouldn't put it in the lead).

Content


 * What you have so far is relevant and up to date.
 * I know sources have been an issue but I would recommend a culture subheading.
 * Source 2 is under utilized. From a skim, I see economic and cultural info.

Tone and Balance


 * Neutral.
 * I'd like to see hearing peoples' views on deafness as well.

Sources and References


 * Reliable sources.
 * Working links.
 * Make sure your citing all info (several statements are not).

Organization


 * Well written, concise.
 * I would add a Deaf Culture section (if current and or new sources permit).

Overall impressions


 * Good outline but lacks content (I'm sure you already know this).
 * I would reorganize the lead as stated above.
 * Be sure to add in-text references to all statements.
 * I recommend incorporating regional Deaf culture (subheading). If you choose to do so, also incorporate Deaf culture into your Lead.

I would be happy to rereview your article as it approaches completion. Send me an email via Canvas if your interested in another review down the line.

-Daniel Mogil