User:Luisa9544/Michael Spencer (engineer)/DFloresVVC Peer Review

General info
Michael Spencer (engineer)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Luisa9544/Michael Spencer (engineer):User:Luisa9544/Michael Spencer (engineer)/Bibliography
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * 1) There are sources referenced in the article that are not listed on the bibliography.  I would recommend that the missing sources be added to the bibliography.
 * 2) "In Detroit, Michigan March 9, 1952, Michael was born." - I would recommend to change the order of the information to make it flow better, and I would also add his last name since it is the first time you mentioning him in your article.
 * 3) "His father just acquired freedom from slavery during the 'Great Migration'. His family members consisted of teachers, who had culturally rich background's. Spencer became well involved with the electrical engineering industry.He" - I would remove "just" because it makes it sound like you either copy pasted from the source or it just happened. "background's" doesn't need an apostrophe because you're not using it as a possessive, but a simple s would make it plural.  Space between "industry.He"
 * 4) "Spencer collected a Bachelor of Science degree in 1974" - In the "Education" section:  -I would use a different verb instead of collected - perhaps, "earned".
 * 5) You did a great job gathering all the facts and putting his timeline in sequential order from your first source :)
 * 6) Spencer had assisted in making beat voltaic batteries. These batteries fed off the power of electrons from radioisotope decay, which is of course called a beta emitter. In the "Research" section: remove had, not needed.  I don't think "of course" is needed, but if you want to leave it, then it needs commas.