User:Lunarmoon13/Buddhism and Eastern religions/Ashleeyy Peer Review

General info
Lunarmoon13
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Lunarmoon13/Buddhism and Eastern religions
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * I like the introduction of the original as I think it does suffice, but I'm not too sure about leaving in "Bon." I think it could be excluded and replaced by another topic that IS mentioned more throughly in the article's body.
 * You could also think about adding at least one more sentence in the intro to wrap the entirety of your article up, it seems to be missing the main points in the beginning, it is very concise.

Content


 * So far the content is pretty good, I like your additions and edits on the Taoism section.
 * The only thing I would change would be to take out "Early Buddhism was originally not clearly defined by Taoism." I feel like it might be filler and could be easily overseen.

Tone and Balance


 * Tone is neutral and balanced so far, I think you'll do well with continuing to edit consistently.
 * I think all viewpoints are neutral and equally presented.

Sources and References


 * Sources are reliable and information is backed up in current edits.


 * Sources and references are good, but I think you would be able to find more through the library data base, more full articles.
 * The sources are current but there could be more of a variety.

Organization


 * The content edited is clear, concise, and easy to follow.

(Section: Lead Edit)

- "Buddhism relies on the continual analyzation analysis of the self, rather than being defined by a ritualistic system..."

- "The intersections of Buddhism with other Eastern religions, such as Taoism, Shinto, Hinduism, and Bon illustrate s the interconnected ideologies that interplay along the path of enlightenment "

(Section: Taoism Edit)

- "Historically, both Taoism and Buddhism were in competition for  the  domineering influence of the Indian subcontinent."

- "There is  an  ideological crossover found between Buddhist and Taoist systems of influence."

Images and Media


 * Consider adding a couple pieces of imagery apart from the ones already found in the original article.

Overall Impressions


 * Overall I think so far, the editing is on the right track, but more research could be done.
 * Would definitely think about adding more of a variety of sources to take away from, rather than just mostly abstracts from books.
 * The info added is well written and fits well.