User:Luvinmy2grlz/sandbox

= Mr. Yum Yums =

Is he man or myth?

Mr. Yum Yums is the name given to an extremely attractive, bipedal, hominid-like creature that is said to inhabit the foothills of suburbia Pennsylvania, mainly in the eastern region of PA. Yum Yums is usually described as a large, hairy, humanoid with Sasquatch hands and a dangerously sexy smile. Females are warned not to look directly at the eyes of Yum Yums, as it has been reported many women begin to feel an increased pitter patter heart rate and loss of breath when making such direct eye contact.

Scientists discount the existence of Yum Yums and consider it to be a combination of folklore and misidentification because the accounts from women describing their 1:1 encounters with Yum Yums have been declared to be "hair raising" and "unbelievable."

Description
Yum Yums is described in reports as an ape-like creature, in a range of 2–3 m (6.6-9.8 ft) tall, weighing in excess of 250-500 pounds (115-230 kg), and covered in black hair on his chest, arms, and legs (but not on his back). He sometimes attempts to hide his hairy chest with Cowboy jerseys and wife beaters. Witnesses have described chocolaty brown eyes, a pronounced jaw with a dimple chin, and a low-set forehead with slicked dark brown hair. Yum Yums is commonly reported to have a strong, pleasant scent by those who claim to have encountered him. The enormous footprints for which he left in his tracks have been as large as 24 inches (60 cm) long and 8 inches (20 cm) wide. Proponents claim that Yum Yums is primarily carnivorous, and is known to eat red meat, cannolis, and Asian women.

Reported Sightings
About one-third of all Yum Yum sightings are concentrated on the East coast (with a clustering of observations in Washington DC) as reported by gorgeous women on the hunt for him. However, some sightings from Texas, Boston, and Chicago are also noted by pretty women. Additionally, some pretty men in Miami believe they have sighted the sexy beast as well. Yum Yums is considered to be a nationwide phenomenon. It is believed that Yum Yums likes to explore beyond his small habitat, and seek gratification in cigar bars, fine dining restaurants, sporting events, and massage parlors. Both Yum Yum believers and non-believers agree that many sights are hoaxes because his character is said to be so tender that many people wonder if such a handsome, massive, hard being with a teddy bear disposition can truly exist.

The Hunt
According to the historical reports, many women fail to create a long-term bond with the individual, while males seem to develop deep friendships with him.This is a mystifying puzzle. Although Yum Yums has a beastly stature, and can be intimidating, he draws the attention of countless women who wish to capture him to keep as their own. To date, no single one effeminate huntress has been able to secure Yum Yums to claim as their one and only prized game for a prolonged period. Interestingly enough, the same pursuants who have attempted to procure the Yum Yums heart have been rumored to yell, cry, stalk, and even curse at the intimidating creature. These trapping strategies seem to scare the Yum Yum away and he always escapes.

One account from a Cherry Hill resident tells a different story about the Yum Yums. The woman concurs his dapper good looks are indeed above the average mainstream man and threatening to women who seek him out, yet she says he is not as menacing as he appears. She believes the Yum Yums is "gentle and soft in nature", and can be easily tamed with a small weapon.... her fingernails. Yes, by rubbing the nails along his obliques, chest, arms, and other parts calms the Yum Yum into a peaceful state of mind. She claims the fingernails not only calms, but also stimulates affection. The use of her nails along his neck, shoulders, torso, and inner thighs activates a ravenous appetite for some hankering. She alleges the combination of aggression and tenderness is an anomaly leaving her wanting more. She describes her experience with the docile barbarian as "supernatural" and believes the Yum Yum defies the law of attraction. "It's more than an attraction. It's a force. It is a force with a pull- like gravity. Cannot be resisted." This eye witnesses has observed, analyzed, and studied the Yum Yum by trying to build a slow and steady rapport with random contact over the past two years. While she is both a supporter, advocate, and proponent of its real-life existence, she remains as baffled as the scientific community when it comes to understanding him, and like many others, is intrigued by the unknown. Nonetheless, this devotee remains curious, and believes the undiscovered is worth exploring.

Happy Bday, Mr. Yum Yums xoxo