User:Lynbarn/Archive

Back to User:Lynbarn

Comments collected from the RfF page...

Lynton and Barnstaple Railway
I have been working on this article for some time now, and it has become the hub of a number of items relating to this railway (most of which I have started myself), that remain more or less as stubs, but even by splitting out parts of the information, it has been difficult to keep it down to 32k. I had intended adding a link to a detailed description of the route of the line, with each feature described, grid references etc, (this is currently languishing in my sandbox) but think maybe it is not appropriate to Wikipedia, so may need to find an alternative home for that part of my research.

The subject is one I am very enthusiastic about, and although I've tried to maintain a NPOV, I'm not sure I've always succeeded!

I am told that the article is aproaching FA quality, but would welcome a wider review, and any suggestions on how it may be improved (There is also much more I could add), whilst keeping to the 32K limit.

Thank you

regards Lynbarn 11:31, 11 August 2006 (UTC)


 * Overall it is nicely balanced, but needs more references, (added where you had indicated Lynbarn) and as you say it still shows evidence of POV (I can tell you are an enthusiast and I shouldn't be able to tell that from the article if it is written as NPOV). It's got a personal chatty style which I like but might get beaten out of it if you go for FA status, and is well illustrated with images.I gave it a bit of copyedit for typos, repetition and redundancy, but another run through wouldn't do any harm. Some more specific comments:
 * a lot of railway specific terms are used without links or explanation
 * working through these Lynbarn
 * consider using the cite templates for the citations
 * not tried that one before - will look into it Lynbarn
 * it overuses exclamation marks
 * done! Lynbarn
 * "perhaps in the vanguard of what became the Heritage Railway movement in the UK and elsewhere" - is NPOV and WP:OR
 * removed Lynbarn
 * Consider unlinking some dates per the Manual of Style
 * done Lynbarn
 * "On 13 November an auction was held to sell off remaining items, although, despite hopes from many that the line would remain intact, very little was sold." - the subclause here has no connection with the main clause
 * rephrased paragraph Lynbarn
 * "Unlike railways such as the Welsh Highland Railway" - if this is the only example say "Unlike the Welsh Highland Railway", or provide another example
 * done Lynbarn
 * "Wistlandpound Reservoir has flooded the formation close to its mid-point" - which formation? (probably jargon)
 * done - formation changed to track bed Lynbarn
 * "The station itself has returned to the ambience of 1935." - POV
 * re-worded - better but may need more Lynbarn
 * Recommend you change [sic] to ... - it is confusing and an ellipsis is fine within quotes although I'm not sure another description of the route really helps here.
 * I disagree - This was added as a previous editor mistakenly corrected Fox and Geese to Fox and Goose - the name the pub carries now. see in-line hidden note. I think tthis is the correct use of the Latin term Lynbarn
 * Ahh, I thought the hidden note referred to the fact that the [sic] was used in the original quotation. In this case ignore my comment, it is correct as it is. Yomangani talk 00:57, 12 August 2006 (UTC)
 * "over the 8 hour working day resulting in a lock-out by employers from July 1897 and January 1898" - suggest dropping this, it's more information than is required (although it means rephrasing the next sentence)
 * mostly gone Lynbarn
 * "testament to the excellence of the original design." - either POV or the citation id badly placed.
 * relocated reference Lynbarn
 * "One crane, with match truck" - matching truck?
 * was jargon - wikilink to explain what a match truck is Lynbarn
 * the final section "The future" reads as completely your point of view. I'd completely rewrite it giving references.
 * I'll rewrite this section Lynbarn
 * Hope this helps Yomangani talk 12:43, 11 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Yes, very helpful, thank you, I will make some changes over the weekend - particularly the POV, and use of jargon & exclamation remarks!!!
 * Regards, Lynbarn 13:00, 11 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Yomangani - more adjustments completed - many thanks for your suggestions. Regards Lynbarn 00:32, 12 August 2006 (UTC)
 * Looks much better - I can hardly tell you like it now and the jargon balance is good. A couple more points:
 * I'd move the "More about Axe" link to the external links section - it breaks the flow where it is.
 * Moved - I did wonder that one myself Lynbarn
 * Two descriptions of the route (three including the diagram!) are too much - the fact that they are different just makes it more confusing, but it's a hard to know how to deal with it as each has useful information and you can't break the quote from the guidebook without ruining its charm. So basically a critism without any constructive suggestions, sorry. Yomangani talk 00:37, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
 * I think I've solved it - removed the image for later use on a subsidiary page, converted the first descriptio to concentrate more on the technical "gradient profile", and moved it below the main description - Does that look better? thanks again Lynbarn
 * That's much better (btw, is "Snappers halt" in the quote supposed to have a lowercase h?) Yomangani talk 11:49, 15 August 2006 (UTC)


 * oops! er - no it wasn't supposed to be l/c - now fixed, thanks Lynbarn 20:59, 15 August 2006 (UTC)


 * Overall a very nice contribution in a category that I think Wikipedia excells in; well developed articles about topics relatively unlikely to ever make it into a detailed article in the Encyclopædia Britannica. This article is very much in a niche (but one I find quite interesting). You might consider adding a small discussion of the significance of narrow guage railways for its period in the region, and a comparison of them with the L&BR. Alternately you might consider filling the space between the L&BR and the Narrow-gauge railways article with an overview of regional (southern England or...) narrow-gauge railways.  Keep up the fine work! Williamborg (Bill) 14:50, 19 August 2006 (UTC)


 * Thanks for your comments. I don't think there is room here for much more, but I'll certainly look into doing something in a separate article on the regional aspects as you suggested. Many thanks. Lynbarn 16:22, 19 August 2006 (UTC)