User:Lynnsasaki/1970 Takeover of the Lincoln Hospital/Jorgee829 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Lynnsasaki


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lynnsasaki/1970_Takeover_of_the_Lincoln_Hospital?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
The lead works really well in that it is succinct, but still offers a great summary of how the takeover on Lincoln hospital occurred. The lead includes a sentence that describes the article's topic, but there can probably be a bit more added on to it. Really, the only thing I would say is to combine the first two sentences and it would work really well. The lead implies the major sections that will be included in the article, but not so much states them exactly. I would suggest adding a bit more to the lead to include the major sections by adding maybe a sentence or two about them. I am not suggesting that you have to outright say "this section will include..." but maybe discuss why those sections would be important for the audience/readers to know. Overall the lead is concise and does not need much changing other than adding a bit more information.

Structure
The structure seems to work well with the sections you have provided. The only thing I would say needs a bit of changing is the title of the second subheading. Because you have a section that is dedicated to the hospital takeover, I would say to title the second subsection "Context of the Young Lords and Lincoln Hospital," or something along those lines. Other than that I would say that the subsections are in a good order to reflect its history and chronology. Although, there are two other sections that are not quite finished, I am sure that the information that will be included will pull all of the information together to create a concise article. The content itself all seems to be neutral. I did not read anything that sounds like there is a bias or anything that sounds like it was trying to convince readers of a specific viewpoint. The information included is backed up with evidence in order to remain as neutral as possible and there does not seem to be arguing for one perspective over another. The content seems like an accurate re-telling of the Hospital takeover. It is clear information of what happened and why. The references cited do seem like reliable sources, although at this point there are not many sources used throughout the article, these sources work well with the information presented. Overall, I would say the article seems like a good work in progress and the information you provided all works well together to create a well-made article.