User:MD380/LGBT rights in Ghana/DVNewlin22 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

MD380


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MD380/LGBT_rights_in_Ghana?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * LGBT rights in Ghana

Evaluate the drafted changes
First and foremost the topic you choose is great and I already see that you are fixing up minor grammatical errors throughout the article.

In terms of the details of the article itself, while making changes to the article in terms of grammatical errors and minor changes, I would definitely take a overall look at the links provided to make sure majority of the statements are properly backed up due to the type of article being constructed. You have already found many articles that can prove useful in terms of defining the LGBT rights in Ghana. Also if possible, making a comparison to other countries that have similar or complete different laws surrounding LGBT right to more so point out the complete differences or culture similarities as to why they have these beliefs and add them into law. As well as a possible brief summary of what the LGBT wants or what they are fighting for. There are a few articles such as LGBT Rights by country that may help provide you with some information that can be used in this article.

Onto the new additions you are making, they are great adds, especially adding in the law changes of 2021 to modernize both the article and show either the development or non development of the countries thoughts on LGBT Rights. MY one question will be where would you place this passage within the article. Also if possible try to go into detail on the new bill itself of what it will or wont be doing, so that readers not only know what's going on they know exactly what the bill is trying to do. You already go into some quick details of it which is super helpful, but if you can elaborate a little more (if possible of course) that would also round out that passage and give a modern look into what Ghana's thoughts on LGBT rights are.

The content you are adding is really strong and will be helpful to round out this article. Besides the places you are adding edits I would possibly also take a look at the Lead of the article and history of the reasons Ghana has these beliefs about LGBT PErsons. Even though the history section gives some form of information it still seems vague to a degree leaving readers still guessing why they treat LGBT persons that way, Especially if the laws were created in 1860s the back story of it will probably both strengthen the article but also make it more neutral and describing why they put out the laws that they do.

You are 100% moving in the right direction with his article on top of it being a tough but interesting topic. Also both fixing the small grammatical nuances through out the articles will improve and its impressive as well that you are even adding a new section to modernize the Ghanaian government on the LGBT rights will be a great way to bring up the strength of this article.

I hope this review will help you fix up the minor touches left for this article!