User:MRR1993/Environmental issues with coral reefs/Johnc2022 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

MRR1993, Peytonw27, HealthGHioto, Polydeuces1


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MRR1993/Environmental_issues_with_coral_reefs?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Environmental issues with coral reefs

Lead Question
The Lead should be edited to include a mention of oil.

Content
For "Oil Impacts on Coral Reef Communities," the main issue is the first two sentences and the last sentence about the Deep Water Horizon Spill. The first two sentences aren't relevant to the sub topic, they would fit better in the causes of oil spills. The last sentence by itself doesn't add anything to the sub-topic. Try talking about a specific example of how a coral reef community was affected by the spill.

For "Oil Impacts on Coral Reef Structure," there are no specific issues with the content.

For "Cause and Effects of Oil Spills," the content is very vague. It would function well as a introductory paragraph in a subtopic called "Oil" on the main page. But if it doesn't serve as a introductory paragraph, it would be too vague to really fit the rest of the main article.

For "Oil Clean up Methods," the main issue is that it doesn't really fit with the rest of the main article. This subtopic would fit in an article about marine conservation, or environmental efforts. The main article's goal is to list the issues that face coral reefs, not to talk about how to fix them.

Overall, the main issue is that the Deepwater Horizon spill is mentioned several times to the point where it's redundant. That being said, specific oil spills fit the article really well. Here is an article that lists many if not all of the oil spills that we know of.

Tone
The tone perfectly fine as far as I can tell.

Organization
There are a few issues with grammar and phrasing, but they should be really easy to fix.

1) "Oil will impact the higher-order thinking of coral reef fish in a way that could be dangerous to the fish and the coral reef where they choose their home" can be rephrased into something more like "Oil can result in a significant negative impact on the higher-order thinking etc." This should make it more easier to read and present.

2) "... oil spills, because the structure and function of their polyps are specialized..." has a few grammar issues, try "....oil spills. This is because of the structure and function of their polyps are specialized..."

Asides from a few minor issues, the organization is really well done.

Images
They're really well selected, and they're are very high quality.

Overall
The content added has a few minor phrasing and content issues which I've listed above. But aside from those, the content added was well researched and is a really good addition to the article you all are working on.