User:MacGuire Roughley/Mponeng Gold Mine/Anne181625 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

MacGuire Roughley


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:MacGuire Roughley/Mponeng Gold Mine


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mponeng Gold Mine

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Original article lacked sufficient sections pertaining to the information contained in the lead. Edits made help to shorted the lead by distributing its information into their own sections. This significantly balances out the article by creating space for more information in the body and shortening the lead. Lead summarizes the articles information well and creates a good overview of what the topic is about.

Content

The content added is up to date and adds more depth to the article. Many more sections were added that provide valuable information about this gold mine. Readers can now get a better idea of the gold mine itself along with other interesting information that can expand their knowledge of the subject past basic facts. Most references are fairly recent, being published in the past 20 years and the information is up to date.

Tone and balance

All the content added is neutral. No opinions are stated and all the information is fact based and relates back to the subject. The additions made make a more well balanced article with each section having a similar amount of information compared to one another. The lead accurately summarizes the article and the body evenly represents the different elements of the subject.

Sources and references

As mentioned in the draft summary, the goal for this draft going forward is to develop the seismicity section. This reference, G. Kwiatek, K. Plenkers, G. Dresen, JAGUARS Research Group; Source Parameters of Picoseismicity Recorded at Mponeng Deep Gold Mine, South Africa: Implications for Scaling Relations. Bulletin of the Seismological Society of America 2011;; 101 (6): 2592–2608., comes form a peer reviewed journal about the seismicity within Mponeng Deep Gold Mine which would be a good reference to view to gain more information on the topic.

Organization

Some slight punctuation errors like a missing space ("$300m.Over") and some varying formatting of the spacing of fractions (US$1614/Troy oz" vs "7 449kg / 239 490oz") in the ownership and operation section. Besides punctuation, grammar is good, no spelling mistakes. The sections added like ownership and operation, and physical information incorporate crucial information about the mine that was lacking before. The sections are laid out methodically by having the business components shown first with the ownership section and then moving into the physical mining contains with the physical conditions, gold bearing fractures and seismicity sections. Keeping these groups together creates a good flow within the article that does not confuse the reader with topics that jump around. All of the content added is easy to read and flows well. There is only one sentence which is difficult to read contained in the geology and gold bearing fractures section: "Ranging from 10cm to around a 1-meter gold is found in pebble lags...". Readjusting of this sentence will make it easier for readers to understand its content. The article is organized neatly with the incorporation of lists to order the information in an easily digestible fashion. There is a high level of clarity with the neatly formatted sections as described above and the high amount of flow between the sentences within them.

Images and Media

The image added of the bacteria discovered in the depths of the mine is a good addition. Creates more interest in the subject and emphasizes how rare the presence of this bacteria is. The caption of this image is well written and explains its contents well. I support the plan in place to add more pictures as that would improve the strength of the article and provide readers with a visual component to aid their understanding.