User:Maddi Haraway/Sahachiro Hata/Tdeppong Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Maddi Haraway


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Maddi Haraway/Sahachiro Hata
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sahachiro Hata

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think you have done a really nice job adding information to the Sahachiro Hata article, which was pretty sparse before you started working on it. In particular, I think you maintain a very neutral tone throughout your writing, and do not display any bias in how you are describing these events. One question I had was regarding the biography section -- where did this information come from? I think it could benefit the article to add a citation to support where you got that information.

There were a couple of areas in the article that I thought could use some more explanation. The first is the "Plague Prevention Law." I'm not sure exactly what that is, so I think it could be good to either add a little explanation or link to the Wikipedia page for that Law if there is one. While I was reading, I was wondering what all was included in the Law that Hata developed. I think the same could be said for the discussion of the "magic bullet." I could assume that meant they were trying to develop a treatment for Syphilis, but it may benefit the article to just explicitly say that, since it could also be referring to a preventative treatment. "Magic Bullet" may be widely known to mean treatment, but I didn't know it was that until reading the end and it could make it a bit more clear to be explicit about that when you mention it for the first time.

Regarding organization, I think you have done a really nice job at breaking up your article into sections. In fact, after reading yours, I went back to mine and changed how I organized it to make it more clear. That said, I did have a couple suggestions for making the organization more clear. In the Plague Research section, it seems like the last sentence is a bit off-topic when it mentions him travelling to China. If he did plague research there, it would be good to add that in to make that information match the section it is under. Similarly, I think the 'Magic Bullet' section begins with some information that is not related to Sahachiro Hata. The background information about Syphilis does not seem necessary in this section, since it is focusing on Hata's work in the development of a cure. I think it may benefit your work to delete the first few sentences, and start that section off with the sentence where you begin talking about Sahachiro Hata (In 1909, Sahachiro Hata...).

Overall, I think you did a really great job on your article. In particular, I like the addition of the photos as it makes the article more visually appealing. I also think you did a nice job at discussing the importance of Hata's work on Syphilis and how it laid the groundwork for antibiotic research to be done afterward. Really nice job on the article!