User:Madgirl 15/Sandbox

'''This page is about the article Human rights in the People's Republic of China. Please go to that article's talk page and comment there about each of the points exposed here.'''


 * The Legal System section

The entire section in itself should be expanded. Other statements such as "...this has led to corruption and the abuse of administrative power" would be better if they had citations after them and not before them. I reviewed the link that precedes the sentence but it is once again a 4-page article so it's hard to know where exactly does the person who wrote the part took the statement of "As judges are appointed by the State and the judiciary as a whole does not have its own budget...".

Another example is that statement which is backed up by a 26-page document, yet this one starts off by saying "This article represents the views of author alone and does not necessarily represent the position of the Department of Justice or the United States government". I'm not saying that the document should not be used but other sources could be added.


 * Freedom of speech section

Perhaps this section is better served with providing a general view on the censorship of the Internet and government control of the media, rather than providing with specific examples. Not everyone is particularly familiar with what the censorship is actually about and the fact that the government is involved with the media. Examples shouldn't be eliminated but perhaps we can re-draft this into two paragraphs that talk about the actual issue and not just with a few examples but maybe a short summary with more examples on the type of information that is censored.


 * Religious Freedom section

On the first sentence that is in bold, the tone of the sentence does not seem neutral. Perhaps this could be improved by adding a section on 'how differing cultural and religious traditions might have affected the different perspectives on human rights held by Chinese and Western officials' as it was suggested in the peer review. I think it is evident that one of the troubles with the human rights issue and maintaining a neutral tone for this article is that Chinese and Westerns don't have the same perspectives on the issue.

On the second text that is in bold, the entire section reads like a persuasive essay. It states a problem and then uses one example to back up the statement. I believe however that other more pressing issues involving freedom of religion could be mentioned in the article instead of focusing on this single situation of about Tibetan monks. They should be mentioned of course, but perhaps in more detail in the article Religious freedom in the People's Republic of China than here.

The third section needs citations. Also the 'Most observers believe...' sentence does not mention who these observers are.


 * The sections Freedom of movement and Treatment of rural workers deal with the same issue but are divided into two different sections and could be merged instead.