User:Madilbrown/Avery Sandberg/Jbelt21 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Madilbrown


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Madilbrown/Avery_Sandberg?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Avery Sandberg

Evaluate the drafted changes
 Lead 

The lead section is short and sweet. It gets right to the point. I would maybe expand more on the lead section to give the reader more general information about the person. It gives a general overview over what the article is going to be about.

 Content 

Does a great job of giving general neutral toned information in the Early Life section. I would maybe like to see more citations to where this information is coming from. Covers family history extensively and well. Can tell the author did a lot of research to get this depth of information. Career and Legacy section is goof would consider adding more information about Sandberg's contributions to hematology.

 Tone and Balance 

Tone is neutral and does not try and persuade the reader either direction. It is not always easy to stay neutral, but this author did a great job of doing so. All the information included were facts, no opinions.

 Sources and References 

The references sections is easy to follow and has adequate citations. All seem like they come from reputable secondary sources like Wikipedia prefers. Would maybe like to see more citations throughout the paper.

 Organization 

Is well written and organized in separate paragraphs for career and early life. However the information looks like blocks of text. Would add in multiple paragraphs within each sub heading.

 Images and Media 

n/a - would be nice to have a picture of Sandberg

 Overall Impression 

This wikipedia article has great information and covers Avery Sandberg's life and accomplishments. Only thing I may add in is more citations sprinkled throughout the writing and a picture. The page looks a little dull and adding a picture or adding distinct paragraphs would help with the overall look. Great job!