User:Madisonminelli/Prison healthcare/Axolotl61 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

MadisonMinelli


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Madisonminelli/Prison_healthcare?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Prison healthcare

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello! I still am a little confused on how to navigate Wikipedia, so let me know if there's something I'm missing or if this is the wrong page to comment.

Overall I am impressed by the information you found and think you did a good job. However, I am a little unclear on where exactly these additions are going. Is the whole bullet pointed list getting added to the UK section? It might be good to think about the most effiicient way to organize your points. Also, adding the sources to your points is important, but I'm guessing that's just a formatting issue that you all will be able to fix.

"Such as Depression, mania, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder."

That particular bullet point seems to be an incomplete sentence.

It's really interesting to see the points that you're adding, because some seem to be about how aspects of healthcare like STD treatment is better than outside, but others are about how healthcare is worse in prison. It's obviously a complicated topic, and I'm wondering if there's a way you can organize it that makes these facts seem less like you're contradicting yourself. Maybe rephrasing some of the points, or just using some transition words like "Although" would help clarify for the reader.

I think the section on history is good and really flows well while highlighting the important (and horrific) information. My only comment would be to split the first paragraph up into two paragraphs for ease of reading.

Great job!