User:Madmatt52

John Rosco Clark (JRC to his mates) was born in 1954 in England (i think.) Having graduated from Oxford with a First in Facial Hair Cultivation, he proceeded to write a series of articles on shaving. As author of the world-renowned “Have A Shave”, the shaver’s Bible, he has made millions, most of which he has spent on wine. He is currently a housemaster at Eton, but due to his desire to sample the wines of the world has decided to move to Kenya later this year, where he will become a headmaster of a small shack in the middle of the desert. We wish him and his moustache all the best in future, and hope that he gets Sky in Kenya so he can watch his beloved Newcastle get battered at every match.



His most memorable contribution to world history is his incredible collection of (genuine!) soundbites, which are quite clearly worth writing down:

"If Newcastle and JRC played each other at football, I don't know who I'd support!"

"You missed my absence - I'm liable to bill you. Unless you're Tom Redmayne, in which case its OK."

"Not in my Quiet Hour."

"Right you rabble!"

"Get It Right."

"Caaaaaam on. Shaaaaat up."

"Don't play football in defence."

"Football is like a game of Chess."

"The aim of football is to score more goals than the opposition."

“Have a shave.”