User:Maireob/Environmental impact of paper straw production/Acd451 Peer Review

Peer Review

Lead

The lead is a good start! It does summarize the main topics of the essay in a brief, concise way, however it is biased and feels like it is setting up an argumentative paper. Make sure that it is unbiased and is only setting up a paper about the environmental impacts of paper straws, rather than "your" opinion on the subject matter.

Content

Everything is pretty cohesive and relates back to paper straws and their impact on the environment. I would just say add more information in general because this is not a very detailed wikipedia page so far. I think the body paragraphs are a good start, however there should be more information in the introduction to understand why paper is being utilized as an alternative to plastic. Expand on the second paragraph of the introduction starting with “in recent years.” Talking about the different types of alternatives to plastic can be a nice way to introduce the topic in more detail. Also adding historical context to the production of paper straws: why were they created? Public opinions? Expansion of the business? This would be useful in strengthening your Wikipedia page. I think the body paragraphs are organized really well but there should be multiple paragraphs provided regarding each of the subcategories to get a more detailed,holistic viewpoint of the topic.

Tone and Balance

I feel this article is too biased as it is very anti-paper straw. I think diving into the environmental issues surrounding paper straws is good but it has to be in a non-biased perspective. One way to avoid this is by talking about it from a historical perspective such as exploring the invention of the paper straw, public opinion, and environmental impacts of the paper straw both positive and negative. Remember that paper straws are still an alternative to plastic, which does provide positive impacts because it is a substitute for the negative impacts that plastic has on the environment. Make sure that this is talked about to counterbalance the negatives. There can still be a focus on environmental issues with paper straws but utilize sources that talk about public opinion or scientific consensus because that way it does not suggest that this is “your” opinion.

Sources and References

Citations should be after the paragraphs rather than in the beginning, if you are claiming that all articles are from the same source. However, all links work and support claims in the article!

I would add a couple scientific articles since you are claiming that paper straws are harmful to the environment. It would be helpful to back this up with sources that have done scientific research proving this. The sources provided are also very biased so I would try to avoid using sources with titles suggesting a strong opinion because that is not helpful when being a neutral Wikipedia page. Instead look for sources that provide a scientific fact rather than opinion to support your claims so it is not biased.

Organization

I do think that this Wikipedia page is organized in a successful manner just needs more detail supporting each of the subcategories.

Overall Impression

Really good start! Just keep working on making it a more neutral review of the environmental impacts rather than a strong biased. Also just keep utilizing scientific articles and adding more detail! Good job!

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