User:Maireob/Environmental impact of paper straw production/B06L1403 Peer Review

General info
Claireava3, LaurenPolley, Maireob
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Maireob/Environmental impact of paper straw production
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead


 * Don't say, "This Wikipedia page aims to explore..." or "This page seeks..." or "This paper delves.."
 * Great intro sentence!
 * Do not need the last sentence in the first paragraph- no new information is provided
 * Overall it introduces the article very well

Content


 * All content is Relevant, but maybe you could name it "Impacts of the paper straw production" or possibly "Negative impacts of the paper straw production" to allow for more flexibility in what to include
 * Touching on all aspects is interesting and written very well, but there is more information within than just environmental impacts
 * Great topic! Content is up to date and I could not find much on wikipedia on paper straws
 * Do not need a conclusion

Tone and Balance


 * Mostly discussed negative impacts
 * Conclusion seemed biased towards needing change away from paper straws
 * could discuss more positives of paper straws for more balance
 * "...studies suggest that the production of paper straws may have unintended consequences that outweigh their purported benefits"
 * seems biased, but it wouldn't be if you cited the studies and stated their findings
 * Great content and topic overall, I learned so much!

Sources and References


 * Cite each sentence when new information is introduced, even if you have to cite it more than once
 * In text citation goes after the sentence
 * Fourth reference has an error
 * Not sure where all information comes from throughout the paragraphs, but the sources are very relevant and informative!
 * Most sources are news articles, try to find others in addition such as peer-reviewed articles
 * Cite other wikipedia pages related to paper straws
 * The links work perfect and sources are very current!

Organization


 * Add bolded headings throughout the piece
 * make the headings and subtopics more clear with titles and spacing
 * I like how you organized it into environmental, economic, and social categories
 * Overall it was very concise, clear, and easy to read
 * No grammatical errors that I found

Images and Media

New Articles
 * No images


 * Could use more sources and more of a variety throughout the piece
 * The article does link to other informative articles!
 * Sources mainly news article- not quite sure if they are all independent of the subject or if they had a motive behind reporting on paper straws
 * could add more peer reviewed and scholarly articles
 * It is on its way to following a similar pattern to other articles if more features such as headings and photos are added

Overall Impressions


 * Content is interesting and relevant!
 * Less bias, and more specific citations could improve the content