User:Malditangjen

the top ten reasons why either harry potter or twilight is better

Mina – The best Twilight can claim marketing-wise is: “The best-selling novel of all time, SINCE HARRY POTTER.” Ms Minchin – Edward can satisfy me more. Who needs a boy when you can have a man? Eve – Smart girl with courage and a strong point of view, versus a woman needing rescue all the time? Hermione or Bella? Independent woman over damsel in distress anytime. Specialist – Edward may be fast, but that is no match for Harry’s ability to apparate. Specialist/Gia – Quidditch is WAY better than baseball. Yellowcuzmo – Does Harry have ”a body that is so perfectly sculpted as if it belongs to the gods themselves”? Does he dazzle under the sun? I don’t think so. Yellowcuzmo – Twilight is better because Robert Pattinson has SEX HAIR. Sunday – Harry Potter is better than Twilight simply because J.K. Rowling is better than Stephenie Meyer. Wicked Mind – Even before makagat ni Edward si Harry, na-Expelliarmus na siya ni Harry. Callcenternurse – I’d rather ride cross-country in a Volvo than straddling a walis tingting – ang sakit nun sa singit! Wicked Mind – Wala ang mind-reading powers ni Edward sa Legilimens ni Snape. Chau/Allanson/Marj/Gooey Kablooey – Harry Kicked Cedric Diggory’s butt in Goblet of Fire, with Cedric played by the future Edward. Ms Minchin – Si Edward makinis, si Harry peklatin. Dazed Cartoon – I don’t get RobPattz. He doesn’t only look dead for 300 years, he looks like he hasn’t bathed in 300 years. No name/Mr. & Mrs. Smith – Harry Potter is better than Twilight because Robert Pattinson was better looking as Cedric Diggory than as Edward Cullen. Mabaysay – Harry Potter is better because they have 8 1/2-inch wands. Salmon – Bella dies and I don’t even care. Meanwhile, Hedwig dies and I cry bucket of tears! OscarDelaHopia – Si Hermione ang sinasakyan para makaabot sa langit, broomstick. Si Bella ang sinasakyan, si Edward! Xellosalone – Mas mukhang mabango si Harry kesa kay Edward. Sasha Purse – Ayoko kay Edward, suma-shining shimmering splendid ang drama! Amber – Parehong wala ang Harry Potter at Twilight sa Okay Ka Fairy Ko! No name – There’s a part in the Twilight series that Bella insisted to make love with Edward even though she knew she could die. I rest my case. Nickeltro – It’s basically a choice between someone who sucks and someone who has a big wand. McDenzel/Curt Smith – Harry’s better because Edward sucks! Twistedsensei – Harry Potter is closer to LOTR, while Twilight is an Anne Rice wannabe for teens. Dwen – Twilight is basically Sweet Valley High, with fangs. Miss Piggy – RobPattz has more testosterone than Daniel Radcliffe can ever dream of. Salmon -Harry Potter is better because it has Wonwon and Hermy! Jelan – Daniel has already stripped naked on stage which RobPattz has only done in my dreams. Anathaleia – No character in Twilight even comes near the complexities of characters in Harry Potter, like Snape as the best example. Dru – Nung bata sila, ang baon ni Harry, Zest-O. Si Edward, ang baon, Modess!

the top ten brat quotes Mr. Perk – Our tatay asked our bunso what he wanted for Christmas, so our bunso answered: “A grand piano.” My tatay said: “That’s too expensive anak.” Our bunso answered: “So next time don’t ask.” Reichen – My galpal fell in love with this mestizo whom I suspect to be gay. One time they agreed to meet and he told her: “You’re in Makati, I’m in Ortigas, let’s meet halfway: I’ll see you in Megamall.” No name – Dad: “Pag namatay ako, ipamamana ko sa iyo ang 50 hectares na lupa, bahay, at 10 million pesos. Ano pa ang mahihiling mo?” Son: “Ang mamatay ka na.” Acer – I once screamed at my parents: “Bakit niyo pa ako ipinanganak dito sa mundo kung di niyo rin pala ako bibilhan ng family computer?!?” Blair – Officemate1 didn’t finish her food so Officemate2 said: “Ubusin mo yan, ang daming batang nagugutom!” Officemate1 said: “Kaya sila nagugutom, hindi dahil hindi ko inubos ang pagkain ko. Nagugutom sila dahil hindi nagsikap ang mga magulang nila!” No name – Wife: “Mabuti siguro kung nagpakasal nalang ako sa demonyo!” Husband: “Weh, bawal kaya magpakasal sa kamag-anak!” Abernathy – Rachel Green: “I know how to sail! My dad bought me a boat when I was 15!” (Joey, Ross and Monica were shocked) When Rachel saw their reaction, she said: “What? He only bought me a boat because my pony was sick.” Blitzkrieg – Overheard from the neighbors: “Sardinas nanaman? Nay naman, ayusin niyo kasi ang trabaho para naman hindi sardinas ang kinakain natin araw-araw!” Carmela A – When my friend didn’t pass the DLSU entrance exam, she immediately took out her cell phone, called her dad and said: “Dad, I didn’t pass. Fix it!” PurpleRose – During the American Idol debate on the show, someone sent in a text: “Adam Lambert should win because that’s what I want, and I GET WHAT I WANT!” Specialist – I saw a yaya trying to give her ward dirty ice cream (sorbetes). The kid said: “No. They don’t call that dirty for nothing.” Demz – One time while I was fighting with my 8-year-old son, he told me: “You’d make a great evil stepmother.” Tigerlily – During an argument with an officemate, I told her: “No matter what you say, come payroll time, you’ll need my signature so you’ll have something to feed your family.” No name – Whenever my boyfriend asks permission if he can go out with his friends, my standard line is: “Only if I go with you.” Angel In Disguise – Overheard in an elevator: “Wala akong pakialam kung gusto niya ko. Ang importante lang naman, gusto ko ba siya?” Nickeltro – We heard a loud crash in the next room and when we got there, we saw my niece right next to a broken vase. Asked repeatedly to explain herself, my niece said nothing. When her mom said: “Bakit hindi ka sumasagot?” My niece answered: ” I have the right to remain silent.” Tinselbelle – “Simple lang ang gusto ko sa buhay…yung ako ang masunod.” Monde – Husband: “Dito sa bahay na ito, ako ang batas!” Wife: “Puwes, kung ikaw ang batas, ako naman ang pulis.” Gracie – Whenever my husband wants sex and I refuse, he always says this: “Sige ka, mambababae ako…” AlyasPogi – My nephew told his mom: “Patay ko ti dadi!” His mom said: “Bad yan, magalit si Jesus!” My nephew answered: “Pati jitut patay ko!”

We all have our personal kontrabidas in our lives, but some are universal. They’re deliciously villainous. And who knows? Maybe we’re kontrabidas in someone else’s life. So I guess it’s all good.

December 11, 2008 → The Top Ten Kontrabida Quotes

L.A. Blue – “What’s that? Do you hear that? Oh, it’s the sound of me not caring…” Mara – “You think you’re good enough? Think again.” No name – “Ipinanganak ako para guluhin ang buhay mo!” Tani – “What a coincidence…UGLY starts with ‘U’.” E-M – “Ang ganda ng babaeng ipinalit mo sa akin…mula ulo, mukhang paa!” Totski – “Mabilis ba mabuntis ang mga bobo? Bakit ang dami niyo?” Raymond – “Malakas ka pala kumain…halatang galing sa hirap.” SC – When you see an ugly baby: “Magtanim na tayo ng maraming damo, kasi dumadami din ang mga mukhang kabayo.” Merrique – When officemate called me fat, I said: “Kaming mga matataba, puwedeng pumayat. Eh kayong mga pangit?” Dopey – “Siguro taga-Marakina ka, kasi mukha kang takong!” D’brain – From a former teacher: “I won’t pass you. I want to see you suffer.” No name – “Karma’s a bitch, and so are you.” No name – From Iisa Pa Lamang. Claudine to Angelica: “Gusto mo maglaro tayo? Agawan ng mana.” Dyosaimma – “Are you having a freak show that I’m not aware of?” Sutil – One friend hardly drinks but eats tons of pulutan. She’s fat, and not very pretty. During one inuman, we saw the plate of chicharon empty after just a few minutes. Another friend addressed her: “Huy, bawal yan, cannibalism!” Ysa – Overheard, a girl talking to another girl: “Shucks, it’s so hard to be pretty noh? Ay sori, you wouldn’t know nga pala.” Bombai – “Pag tinititigan kita, naniniwala na ako na ang tao galing sa unggoy.” Frederique – “Wag ka mag-alala, malapit nang mawala sa uso ang skinny jeans.” No name – “Everyone’s entitled to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege!” HB – “Mabuti ka pa, mayaman ako. Samantalang ako, mahirap ka. Anong palagay mo sa akin, tanga ka?” No name – From Iisa Pa Lamang. Claudine: “Gusto ko pag pasok ko, ipagtitimpla mo agad ako ng kape. Yung dark, very dark. Kasing pait ng buhay na ipatitikim ko sa ‘yo!” Bennett – “Whatever look you were aiming for? You missed.” Devil_laugh – “Kailangan na natin ng bagong biktima. Hindi na humihingi ng awa ang isang ito.” Dark Choco Boi – From Iisa Pa Lamang. Cherry Pie Picache after she lost her fortune: “Ganito pala ang feeling ng hampaslupa! Kaloka!” Erwination – “Giniginaw ako. Magsunog ng alipin!”