User:MarahiMadrid/Discriminatrion resulting from political policies and rhetoric/Drojasra Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Marahi Madrid


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MarahiMadrid/Discriminatrion_resulting_from_political_policies_and_rhetoric?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead: The lead mentions background information to introduce the topic of discrimination resulting from political policies and rhetoric. She mentions that in 2016, Donald Trump's presidency served as a catalyst for a movement of anti-immigration. She introduces the events and explains some of the policies, events, and cases that have resulted or happened after Trump entered the presidency. The lead could mention a brief description of the articles sections and what she will mention. She talks about Trump's administration policy separating children from their families and controversial policies, but forget to list them in her article body. If she mentions it, it could help the article body have more sources or data to back up her points made in the lead.

Content:

The article is about discrimination resulting from Trump's policies and rhetoric. She mentions the slogan "Make America Great Again" as the precursor to mane series of events and cases of discrimination. She does not make an argument or try to sway the reader to take an opinion. She presents quotes and explains what kind of undertone the President's words have and what effect they have on people based on real events. Maybe she can choose more neutral words were she says "he was not afraid to use his platform to push his own agenda." And in the last paragraph, there definitely needs to be more neutrality. " It is ironic that Donald Trump inspired bullying while First Lady Melania was in charge of a national Anti-bullying " campaign" was not mentioned in the the lead, so it could be removed or neutralized. She makes a good introduction to the the cases of hate crimes.

The hate crimes themselves mention the use of the rhetoric and words stated by Donald Trump and prove the discrimination seen following the presidency of Donald Trump. She statistically mentions how hate crimes against Latinos have risen exponentially. She has data to prove so and mentions a mass murder. There is still more to add but it is a solid draft.

Sources and References:

All content is backed up with sources of information. She has six secondary sources so far and the sources state and mention what she has written here on wikipedia. The news article talk about the immigration policies and the hate crimes are from a news article as well. The sources are all from 2018 and up, so they're pretty current. There is a diverse spectrum of authors. All links work as well.

Organization:

I know Marahi wants to add images, but Wikipedia will not let her, so I hope those can be added in later as well.. Grammatically correct, not obscure meaning. Content flows well and is easy to understand and break down.

Overall, there is a solid quality to this new article she has written and she has made appropriate sections for the article to be complete and have a good amount of work to stand on its own as a new topic regarding the latino community. She has more than the two secondary sources needed for a new article; her article follows the patterns of other articles with a lead, a body, and a sub-section/; and her content addresses a theme of historical amnesia that we covered in class. It addresses an underepresented topic.