User:Marcferda/Belcarra Regional Park/FinnJackart Peer Review

General info
(provide username)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overview

- Great article, provided much more detail than the current version available on Wikipedia.

- I think many of the paragraphs could be shortened into more focused, smaller paragraphs that are easier to read due to simplicity. Doing this would make the article much easier to follow.

- structure of article is overall good, each section is relevant to the topic and contains the information that I would expect to read in those sections

Lead

- This article could benefit from a brief lead paragraph giving some insight on what the park is, and a little bit of information about why it is important.

Content

- Content is good, definitely much more information than the original article.

- Most content accurately represents what the sources say, with few exceptions which I will mention below.

- Content is up to date and mostly relevant

- Content is composed of facts, with no biases or opinions

- I would like to know more about the activities that the 600,000 thousand visitors a year do! (which ones are most popular?)

- Includes information about Indigenous history and perspective which is great

Sources

- I think there are enough sources included in this article, with plenty of information

- quality of sources is good

Edits I would make

"The lease signed in 1972 lasted for 99 years, meaning it ended in May 2011."

- This sentence in the first paragraph of the "background" section of your article seems a little unclear, due to the fact that 2011 is not 99 years after 1972. In the relevant source it says that the least expired in 2011, but not because it was a 99 year lease. Maybe some other factors caused this lease to expire but it was not due to the lease agreement being fulfilled, so I would reword that part.

- This sentence "Belcarra Regional Park sees about 600,000 visitors each year." in the "Land use and Wildlife" could be changed to "Belcarra Regional Park sees almost 600,000 visitors each year." to make it more accurate to the relevant source.

"A heritage house named Bole House can be found here, along with seven cottages from the early twentieth century. Only one of these cottages is within the boundaries of Belcarra, however, and the rest lie on the land owned by Port Moody."

- This part from the second paragraph in the "background" section of your article seems unnecessary, Maybe leaving out the part about the cottages, since most of them are not located in the Belcarra Regional Park.

Spelling and word choices

- In the "Land use and Wildlife" section, it might be better to use "deer" instead of "deers" for clarity

- Use "its" instead of "it's" in this sentence, "Apart of it's 1,104 hectares, are the 92 hectares of Admiralty Point Lands, ocean waterfront lands in Port Moody."

- In the "Land use and Wildlife" section, use "plants" instead of "plant" in this part, "other plant and animals found beneath the ocean's surface."

- In the "Conservation" section, use "responsible" instead of "resposible", and use "its" instead of "it's" in the last sentence

Conclusion

Overall, good article. I enjoyed reading through and learning about Belcarra Regional Park, its history, what animals occupy it, and what people do there. I think a few things could be sorted out with the clarity of the text, and a few grammatical errors could be fixed and this article would be well on its way to becoming ready for Wikipedia!