User:Marcplummer82/International Peace Mission movement/Enina24 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

@Marcplummer82


 * Link to draft you're reviewing

Marcplummer82/International Peace Mission movement


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

International Peace Mission movement



Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? - New edits are updated for the lead like "Edit: The International Peace Mission movement is a religious movement that was founded and led by Father Divine. Father Divine was worshipped by his followers as a God. He was most renown during and following the Great Depression in the 1930s. Thus, the International Peace Mission movement is now known to be an important precursor of the Civil Rights Movement". I also think it would be helpful to write your thoughts about the information your adding and deleting to understand your thought process for the lead and include a sample of how the updates looks together, as if it was on the main page.

Content
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic? - The introductory sentence doesn't clearly state what exactly is the "International Peace Mission movement" it does state that it is a religious movement founded by Father Divine but I feel like more information can be added to the introductory sentences to clearly state what does the movement do, maybe adding information along this line "The International Peace Mission movement is built on the principles of Christianity, democracy, Americanism, brotherhood, and Judaism with understanding that all religions teach the same basic truths".
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections? - The lead does mention descriptions of some major sections of the article but doesn't describe other major sections like "1930s: International expansion and alliance with the Communist Party USA", "1940s: the death of Peninniah (Mother) Divine, the rise of Sweet Angel and the doctrine of reincarnation", and Early 21st century: contraction and current status.
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article? - No, the lead does include information present in the article, there are sections about "Father Divine" and the movements starting in "New York".
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed? - The lead is concise and doesn't spoil too much about the article and it's not overly detailed.


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? - All content added is relevant to the topic like the image chosen of Father Divine and new contents added to different sections. Also, new references connect to the articles topic.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? - The content added seems more up to date from around the 2006 and higher.
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics ? - Yes, there are a couple of sections like "Father Divine and his followers were the first black homeowners in town". Also, "Father Divine moved to Harlem, New York, and accumulated a significant following in the black community".

Tone and Balance


 * Is the content added neutral? - Most of the time the content added is neutral like "members could live and seek jobs inexpensively" saying "members" represents everyone apart of the movement. But for "He began attracting many white followers as well as black in the late 1920s". I think rewording the sentence to say "He began attracting many white and black followers in the late 1920s" will make it more neutral
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? - The article doesn't seem to persuade to one position its more presenting information and letting the reader decide what they want to do with it.

Sources and References


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? - Yes, some sections had missing links and have been replaced with good sources. "The movement began in New York City. In 1942 the headquarters were relocated to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In the last few decades, enrollment has dwindled; as of 2015 there were a total of 19 members remaining, all of whom live together on the Woodmont estate near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.[citation needed] There are others who attend the Mission's special events such as feasts and banquets, although they are not considered full-time church members."
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.) - Yes, the article says "In 1919, he and his followers moved the commune to Sayville, New York, on Long Island (added citation of Harlem World Magazine)." and the source says "Father Divine and his disciples moved to Sayville, New York (on Long Island), in 1919."
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? - looking at blackpast.org, Encyclopedia of Greater Philadelphia, and Britannica you see diverse authors but some of the sources are written by one author and others like Britannica are by many authors.
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.) - There is good use of news coverage sources in the article already used but maybe using a stronger like a book may be useful like "Book: God comes to America: Father Divine and The Peace Mission Movement" may be helpful for more in-depth information.

Organization


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? - Yes, it's more clear to read for example win the article it said "In the early 1930s, his neighbors brought charges of disturbing the peace against Father Divine and, along with numerous followers, he was arrested on May 8, 1931." New edited version says "On May 8, 1931, Father Divine and his followers was arrested and charged with disturbing the peace that was brought by his neighbors."
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? - The content is well-organized it starts with "Beginnings", "1914–1932: The Proto-Peace Mission Movement", and "1930s: International expansion and alliance with the Communist Party USA".

Images and Media


 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic? - The article only includes one image but more images are helpful in understanding the topic. The image is "Father Divine" a important person to the topic but it doesn't necessarily explain the topic.
 * Are images well-captioned? - The caption does identify the image presented of "Father Divine" if the reader didn't know who the person was in the image.

Overall impressions


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? - The content does complete the overall quality of the article it adds more information then before and adds references that were missing before.
 * What are the strengths of the content added? - It makes the sections easier to read and understand for example the article said "Father Divine moved to Harlem, New York, where he had accumulated significant following in the black community. Thus, Father Divine established a headquarters in Harlem, New York. Members, rather than Father Divine himself, held most deeds for the movement, but they contributed toward Father Divine's comfortable lifestyle. Purchasing several hotels, members could live and seek jobs inexpensively. The Peace Mission movement also opened several budget enterprises, including restaurants and clothing shops." New edited version says "Edit: Father Divine moved to Harlem, New York, and accumulated a significant following in the black community. Furthermore, Father Divine established a headquarters in Harlem, New York. The members of the movement held most deeds but they contributed toward Father Divine's comfortable lifestyle. As a result, purchasing several hotels, members could live and seek jobs inexpensively. Also, the Peace Mission movement opened several budget enterprises, such as restaurants and clothing shops."