User:Mari1211/A Diary in the Strict Sense of the Term/Jasper Vera Peer Review

General info

 * Mari1211
 * Link : User:Mari1211/A Diary in the Strict Sense of the Term

Lead evaluation
The lead has not been changed from the original article that was last updated on January 12th, 2020. The first sentence is strong and clearly describes what the diaries are and who created them. The second sentence could use improvement, as it is very wordy and runs on. The second sentence also covers multiple topics which could be expanded on further. Overall, I believe the first sentence could be separated completely and the next section could describe the diaries further and outline the rest of the book.

Content evaluation
The next section of the draft goes into the decision of Valetta Swann to publish and a quote from the preface. There is no title to this section and seems as though the topic could be placed elsewhere in the article. It enters a topic of controversy that seems to be randomly placed after the leading introduction. There is a couple grammatical errors as well.

-"Bronislaw's Malinowski’s widow Valetta Swann stated that the decision and responsibility of his diary being published is solely hers." ---> "Bronislaw Malinowski’s widow, Valetta Swann, stated that the decision and responsibility of his diary being published are solely hers."

-"In the preface of the book she acknowledges "--->"In the preface of the book, she acknowledges"

-"...acknowledges that despite the diary being an intimate personal collection and critics may feel that it should not be published."--->This part of the sentence does not make sense when using the word "despite" then "and critics". Revise.

- "But she concluded"---> Consider revising.

This quote is not backed up with any references yet. The last couple of sentences in the next section consists of multiple random statements with no structure or organization.

-"never been intended to be published my Malinowski."--->"never been intended to be published by Malinowski."

Organization evaluation
Unfortunately, this draft is extremely underdeveloped and there is not much material on it yet. There are a handful of grammatical and spelling errors with no structure or organization. I suggest expanding more on the diaries themselves/possible plot with clear organization and headings. The rest of the info should be on the reception/ critique from the people, as you stated these diaries have caused controversy.