User:Mari2132/Waste/Dalastrascastrejon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mari2132


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Waste&diff=1054716115&oldid=1045411665&diffmode=visual
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Waste

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I thought that the information included is very relevant and adds to the article in a beneficial way. Below, I left some comments in areas that the article could be improved.

Citations: Some citations are missing and in certain areas, citations were included within parenthesis, which is not consistent with how wikipedia cites sources.

Neutral tone: I found that at some parts your opinion on the subject was easily identified. You mention "unfortunate," "there is no excuse why there should not be a waste-water treatment facility in every country, every state, and every town," and "There is a need to preserve every resource, every finite water source that we do have left to maintain our lives and lifestyles," which does not follow a neutral tone.

Wording: The wording in the section starting with "The young men" and ending in "in the dumpsite" is a little weird.

For the waste-water facilities section, is there any similar three step method that is more universal and applicable to more people other than just The South Gippsland Water organization?

Quotes: I might paraphrase some of the quotes you use and only include quotes for short phrases.

I would also consider making the benefits section less of a conclusion of the information presented in the waste-water facilities and more focused on what could happen if waste is addressed.