User:Mariana Madera/Adam Ray (comedian)/Psun23 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mariana Madera


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Mariana Madera/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Adam Ray (comedian)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

I think the new additions to the lead helps set up the article in a better way! One small thing about the first sentence is that I think it might grammatically flow easier if you split it up into two parts with the born and living parts. Also, I wonder if it might be a good idea to separate part of the lead and create a new subsection labeled "early life". That section would be more about his education and growing up in Seattle if there is any more information.

Content

I think you provided a lot of great information that wasn't previously there. It would be cool to see if you can find more information on his past with stand-up or something with the comedy show that article references.

Tone and Balance

Overall, I think you structured the tone very neutrally. One part you wrote "which seems to be his first priority" in the personal life subsection. I think this might be considered inferring, so you might want to reword there.

Sources and References

All your sources are from 2017 or later, which makes it very relevant. I think you have good sources, especially the "Not much time to rest for comic/actor Adam Ray" one. I think you can pull a lot of great early life bits to add in.

Organization

Content is well organized. You have a few grammatically errors with commas and run ons that I would look at again. Another thing you should do is make the sub section "personal life" bolded and a bit bigger font like the "content" parts. I think it will look cleaner that way.

Images and Media

N/A.... However, adding a photo would be beneficial for your revision!

I thought you did a great job! Hopefully this helps a little.