User:Mariefairman

My name is Marie Fairman. Of the LGBT community that you have heard so often about I represent the “T”. I’m transgendered. How did this happen you might ask? The answer is President George W. Bush. It is a circuitous route but it is how I came to this revelation. First of all I have always been transgendered but in the spring of 2003 it was the war in Iraq that opened the door that let me see myself. The war was very unsettling to me. The more it dragged on (at the time it was only over a year) the more frustrated I became at MY apparent ineffectuality of stopping the war. I know I’m only one person and I can’t make national and international policy changes but I was irrationally overwrought and I needed to do something and there was a way for to redress my grievances. Thank God I’m a Methodist. At the time I was representing (along with others) my local church (the Hollywood United Methodist Church) at an annual regional conference of SoCal Methodist Churches called the CalPac Conference. As a member to the AC I could present a RESOLUTION condemning the Iraq war!! I decided that would be too obvious and so instead I wrote a Resolution that called to End Poverty in the Middle East citing that poverty is what fueled the desperateness of terrorism. It was passed and adopted eventually. I was very proud that I had finally stood up and spoke truth to what I believed God had called me to do. It was an electrifying and transformational moment. I believe now God’s love had given me the courage to speak out against the war and then that same love allowed me to see myself for the first time. I say that because quite unexpectedly, feelings that were vaguely familiar started to overwhelm me. Instead of sparkling clarity which I assumed I would have for finally letting God into my heart, I became utterly confused. My wife and I talked openly about it and we decided I should turn to my church and my pastor to seek guidance. I told my Pastor that I thought I might be gay. YEAH I WAS HAVING THOSE KINDS OF FEELINGS!!! Hearing the news he said with resounding affirmation, “Congratulations!” The Hollywood United Methodist Church was and continues to be a great place to be gay. Not only are you surrounded with love and support from a strong LGBT community but also the congregants that are straight are just as supportive and affirming. But it turns out I wasn’t gay. Not being gay was frankly disappointing. Not only for aforementioned reasons but I thought that’s what was happening. Now I was really lost. The Pastor and I kept talking. After several weeks of meetings, a lot of thinking and praying it was determined that my ennui might be GID or Gender Identity Dysphoria. It sounded crazy but this was a process of discernment where I felt God was very present. Still it was utterly improbable, seemingly impossible and preposterous that I was a woman. Accordingly I didn’t jump into a dress right away. I didn’t dismiss it either. I went home and told my wife what my “problem” might be. She said quietly, “That could be it.” There was some history.