User:Marven215/sandbox

My Draft
African-American History is the part of American history that explains African-American and or Black Americans contributions to the United States, including overcoming slavery, hardships, abuse and inequality. Wethere it be sports in African American History, Culture or Inventions, this topics gives me a wide wage of infoarion to expand on. This article goes in depth into the history of African Americans, all the way back to 1619 where the first African slaves were brought to point comfort, todays Fort Monroe in Hampton, Virginia. This article also goes into the Black population in 1700s. This article is a great source because it covers African American history from the African Slaves in 1619 all the way to our first Black President in 2008, Barack Hussein Obama. This allows for a lot of information to be expanded on, also allows connections from one source to another.

Revised Draft
Although it may not be celebrated by everyone, or even knowledgeable by many. Black History month does exist all over the world and is something that should be available to many places and people. According to Daryl Michael Scott of Howard University, February is African American History Month that, The Library of Congress, National Archives and Records Administration, and many more organizations such as The Holocaust Memorial Museum joins in paying tribute to the generations of African Americans who struggled with adversity to achieve full citizenship in American Society. AfricanAmericanHistory.gov is offering a series of highlighted events through out the month of February as a way to teach more about the History and the moth which holds such tribute.

Wenqi's Feedback
The above writing is an evaluation of a Wikipedia article. This is not you are supposed to do. So, I am afraid you have to redo it.

Tassaun's Peer Review
Overall, your paragraph was detailed and properly constructed but the one thing you need to work on is your spelling. Also maybe use "This article" or "this less" because 4 of your sentences begin with it.

Josh Lewis Peer Review
I completely see where your coming from with topic, just a few things to work is grammar and structure. Ultimately take away words that say where you got it from and just talk about how the information impacted you.