User:Marymountain/Bullshit Jobs/MUreedyt Peer Review

General info
Marymountain and Dylanfodor
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Marymountain/Bullshit Jobs
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Bullshit Jobs:

Evaluate the drafted changes
Marymountain

I believe that the implemented changes to the Bullshit Jobs article are fantastic. As the sandbox critique specifies, you managed to add two substantive sections to the article that helps to round out both the publication process (and it's impact) as well as the major philosophical criticism that Graeber claimed, being his book surrounding the idea of Neo-Feudalism. The neutrality and structure of your additions are also clear and well-understood.

The only major critique I have to offer would be better incorporating your sources into the second paragraph of the, "Graeber and Corporate Feudalism," section. This paragraph goes in depth to his primary ideas, likely coming from the citation from the paragraph earlier, but there isn't a citation present in this paragraph. Incorporating one or more into this section should be done to avoid any potential flags for plagiarism.

With that being said, GREAT WORK! :)

Dylanfodor

After reviewing your contributions to the article, I would say that you've added both substantial, neutral, and informational contributions throughout. You've even implemented grammatical corrections to preexisting passages, so great work.

While this isn't a criticism of your work, I could not find anything in your sandbox when I did searching through it, so maybe working in there before the article itself would be more effective in ensuring that your contributions are well received. That's also part of the reason why I'm commenting it here, because wikiedu only takes me to the /marymountain page. That could be me having no idea how this program works sometimes, but you get my point. Keep up the great work and make sure you're logging things properly for your own ease of access!