User:Masonb3384/Food desert/Mollycoleman514 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Masonb3384
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: Food desert

Lead
The lead is short and concise and straight to the point, clearly describing the topic. It starts out immediately defining what a "food desert" is, along with some basic facts.

Lead evaluation
Could go into a little more detail, there is definitely room to add some more examples and facts. I suggest expanding after the last sentence that discusses the contributors to obesity and explain a little more what you mean.

Content
The article dives into a lot of interesting detail that is mostly all relevant. It seems up to date. I think that the "impact" section is very important and should maybe be discussed earlier in the article so people are more likely to read it when they come across this page. I can not think of anything missing!

Content evaluation
A little repetitive in some sections and I was a little confused on the wording at times. I think the "beyond physical access" section could be condensed.

Tone and Balance
Neutral tone, no bias claims that I came across. I felt informed rather than persuaded, which is good!

Tone and balance evaluation
Good!

Sources and References
Sources seem reliable, and the few links that I checked worked and brought me to trustworthy websites

Sources and references evaluation
Good!

Organization
A little confusing and extensive other than the lead. The lead is concise. I found myself lost from some of the wording and I think that many sections can be combined and condensed.

Organization evaluation
Needs work

Overall impressions
I think this is a very interesting topic and the content added was mostly grammatical structuring and rewording. I would be interested in reading more of what you have researched other than what was there! Overall, I think this article is very informative and was not a topic I was very familiar with.

Overall evaluation
Add more of your research, but overall good article! Needs a little improvement