User:Mastersstudent841/Stannosis/Hugh B. Kareful Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mastersstudent841


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Stannosis
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Stannosis

Evaluate the drafted changes
Stannosis Peer Review

The first section ‘What is Stannosis’ is good, a very good summary that answers the question. I would suggest including a few more links to other articles. Maybe link to ‘ions’, ‘tin oxides’, lung fibrosis’. This will give the reader more information on those topics if they want to look into them more and provide definitions for those terms as well.

The second section ‘Characteristics of Tin for Industrial Uses’ is a great review of why Tin is used industry and what physical and chemical properties makes it good for use. There are a couple grammatical errors I would suggest correcting. I think including more links to other articles on topics you mention would be good as well, like in the first section. Linking to articles on topics like ‘valence state’, ‘photoelectroctalysis’ (if there is an article on that topic), and other more technical terms may be good for the reader to have a link to.

I think it would be good to have a few more sections in this article such as ‘Industries Where Stannosis is Common’ or ‘Treatment of Stannosis’ or ‘Prevention of Stannosis’. I know this may be some additions that would happen at a later time, but I think including those would give a good summary of Stannosis as a disease from the occupational standpoint.

Great additions to the article, especially from the little information that was in the article when you started editing it. Great job, and good additions.