User:MathisBitton/Confucianism/Jenkinsjz Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mathis - MathisBitton


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MathisBitton/Confucianism?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Confucianism

Evaluate the drafted changes
As someone who knows exceedingly little about Confucianism, your incorporation of contemporary thinkers really helped me to understand the relevance of Confucian political thought to ongoing political debates. I have some very minor observations:


 * Occasionally, when describing arguments made by the scholars you cite, you don't explicitly attribute the argument to the scholars ( “In this context, we need not — and should not — want to flatten hierarchies as much as possible. We ought…” comes to mind). While the attribution is typically clear in the context of the paragraph, I personally prefer to make that explicit in the sentence so that your voice is clearly distinguishable from that of the authors.


 * “That Confucius admitted students of different classes as disciples…” should probably have a citation.


 * The sentence “...argue that this combination conserves the main advantages of democracy…” appears in both the Institutional Design and Promotion System subsections. Not sure if this was intentional.


 * A couple typos:
 * “In fact, bot[h] Daniel Bell and Tongdong Bai hold that Confucian political meritocracy can tackle challenges that liberalism wants to tackle, but cannot by itself.”
 * “Bell and Wang argue that this combination conserves the main advantages of democracy — involving the people in public affairs at the local [level]..."