User:Matthewaitken

Matthew Aitken is an old Irish myth, and is believed to have been a gladiator (a good one in fact, defeating both Clayton Shaw and Humpledink), and also a talented dragon slayer. It is rumored that Matthew traveled the country with his pet monkey he named Jamie Long.

Many traditional Irish families still believe to this day, that Matthew could both fly, breath under water, turn invisible and had superhuman masculine strength.

Matthew later went on to found the company Comparethemeerkat.com, which was inspired by his monkeys girlfriend, Ilga.

He was also friends with a world record holder, Connor Hewitt, who to this day holds the record for the smallest genitals in not only the world, but the universe.