User:Mattw3015/sandbox

Article Evaluation
Article: Thomas M. Stroke Thomas M. Storke

Notes:

Author says 'he' alot. ;

Link doesn't work. ('California Editor');

everything in chronological order;

last paragraph goes everywhere;

comma before 'and';
says including in same list;

one source is wikipedia but the article used is good.(Biographical directory of the united states congress.;

cannot get to other source b/c it is online library.

refrences are all books (cannot read free).

rated start class, high importance

achieves rhetoric objective, got lots of info in a couple paragraphs.

More info could be added about his childhood and his parents.

could also go into more detail about being in government

Ready One is a novel by Ernest Cline.

Twist of Faith is a novel by Ellen J. Green.

Article Proposal
The article I am choosing to work on is 'Thomas M. Storke'.The way I can improve this article is by adding more information about his life. The article only includes the outlines of Storke's achievements. Another way I can improve the article is by fixing up the style of it. There tends to be a lot of repetition in almost every single paragraph. Adding more information will give readers better detail about his life and the events that occurred. Another reason why more information should be added is so if someone wanted to use the page as a reference, it would be a information-packed page. By editing the style, readers will be able to comprehend the article better giving them a better understanding about Storkes life. Through all the edits that I am going to be making in the future, I hope to improve the article in a nothing but positive way.

Article Edits
'early life' section.

later life section

He became well known after calling out the Jon Birch Society, a conservative political group.

Storke was an only child who grew up bilingual in Spanish and English....As a child he attended public schools and moved on to Stanford University one year early. Storke graduated in 1898 at age 22.

(took out paragraph 3 and replaced with...): In 1900, Storke borrowed $2,000 and went on to buy the Santa Barbara Daily Independent, the least favored newspaper in town. In 1909 he sold the outlet to get into the oil business and later purchased the Santa Barbara Daily News in 1913. Storke later readopted the Daily Independent and combined the two papers to birth the Santa Barbara Daily News & Independent. Years later, Storke bought Santa Barbaras 3rd paper, The Morning Press. He later combined the two making ‘The News-Press’. After 23 years, it was sold for near $10 million to the publisher of The Philadelphia Bulletin.

Storke was a delegate for the state Democratic Convention.

'''In 1938, Storke and Senator both helped contribute a sewage system, public tennis courts, swimming pool, and a bath house. Because of his help, Storke was able to choose an architect for the new Post Office & Federal Building.'''

He was awarded an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from the University of California, and the University of Missouri’s Gold Medal Journalism Award at age 90 “for distinguished service to journalism.”

He died in Santa Barbara due to a stroke

Thomas M. Storke
Thomas More Storke (November 23, 1876 – October 12, 1971) was an American journalist, politician, postmaster, and publisher. He was awarded with the famous Pulitzer Prize for Journalism in 1962.

Early Life and Journalism Career
Born in Santa Barbara, Storke was an only child who grew up bilingual in Spanish and English and was born to eminent local citizen and politician Charles A. Storke and Martha Storke. As a child he attended public schools and moved on to Stanford University one year early with a degree in Economics. Storke graduated in 1898 at age 22.

In 1900, Storke borrowed $2,000 and went on to buy the Santa Barbara Daily Independent, the least favored newspaper in town. In 1909 he sold the outlet to get into the oil business and later purchased the Santa Barbara Daily News in 1913. The spring prior, he was appointed as the Santa Barbara postmaster. Storke readopted the Daily Independent and combined that with the Daily News to birth the Santa Barbara Daily News & Independent. Years later, Storke bought Santa Barbaras 3rd paper, The Morning Press. He later combined the two making ‘The News-Press’. After 23 years, it was sold for near $10 million to the publisher of The Philadelphia Bulletin.

Later Life and Political Career
He was appointed on November 9, 1938, as a Democrat to the United States Senate to fill the vacancy caused by the resignation of William Gibbs McAdoo and served from November 9, 1938, to January 3, 1939. Storke flew to Washington and was sworn into office by Edwin H. Halsey, secretary to the U.S. Senate. However, because Congress was not in session during the time he was in office, Storke never authored legislation or cast a vote as Senator. He was not a candidate for election for the full term.

He returned home and resumed working in the media, merging his newspaper the Santa Barbara News with the Morning Press to create the Santa Barbara News-Press. He also founded AM radio station KTMS. He was a member of the California Crime Commission from 1951–1952, and the Board of Regents of the University of California from 1955 until 1960.

In 1958 Storke wrote California Editor, a lengthy memoir rich in local Santa Barbara history.

The John Birch Society attacked the Eisenhower administration and U.S. Chief Justice Earl Warren as being communists in 1961. Storke responded with a caustic series of editorials in the News-Press which won him popular acclaim as well as a number of prizes. These included the Pulitzer Prize in Journalism, for Editorial Writing in 1962, the Elijah Parish Lovejoy Award, and an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from Colby College.

Storke's death was caused by a stroke in 1971 at age 94, having had 10 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren.

Contributions
Storke used his political clout to help obtain the present UCSB campus, over 900 coastal acres (3.6 km2) and a former military installation, from the US Government under the college land grant program.

Part of Storke's lasting legacy is Storke Tower, a 190-foot structure in the center of the UCSB campus, being the tallest tower in the county as well as the only five-octave chromatic bell system.

Beneath Storke Tower is the Storke Communication Plaza, which houses the offices of the campus Daily Nexus newspaper and the studios of community radio station KCSB-FM.

Links
http://www.nytimes.com/1971/10/13/archives/thomas-more-storke-is-dead-editor-attacked-birch-society-publisher.html

User:Mattw3015/sandbox/articledraft

Vetter's Feedback
Hi Matt, You've got some good ideas for development of this article. I would also say that you could do a little bit in terms of how it is organized by creating new sections to help display the different kinds of information. Style edits are great too, and we can count those toward the length requirement somehow. Your next step will be to really start looking more thoroughly through the sources to identify what types of information you can bring in to the article. Bring these passages to class next Tuesday as we will start actually drafting your edits in-class. Your'e also going to want to find some more information. Have you tried the IUP Library bibliography database? I can show you that during our conference. Good start on this! -Dr. Vetter

Josh-Peer Review
Going through your information it seems you have a good grip on the information you entail to use eventually. On my article, I also had links that did not exist anymore which brought me to a dead end. Some advice for that would be to start over on that section and update it with maybe newer information. Another tip I thought of is to copy and paste information from the article onto a Microsoft word document and then that will show grammatical and spelling errors. That could be a good way to contribute to the article. Adding information about his life with him being a senator is something people are usually interested in. The writing style that you took notice to would need to be changed also with information that already exists. Overall, it seems you've done a good job thus far!

Sadie's Peer Review
You seem to have a good start on the article and what you plan to do with it. I agree with Josh when he said it would be beneficial to start over on the section and replace it with new information. You do not want information in an encyclopedia to false. Make sure that when you are editing sections and adding information that it flows well with the other information. Your writing style seems to match up well with the rest of the article. Once you have all your information in and you think it is good maybe have another person read it and make sure the content flows well and that will also help with any spelling errors that could potentially be made. That technique has helped me in the past, I usually have my roommate read over what I write to make sure it sounds good. O think that you did a really good job for your first article draft.