User:Matzahballsoup/Halloumi/GDC0605 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Matzahballsoup's work


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Matzahballsoup/Halloumi?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Halloumi

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

It looks as if the changes in the sandbox wish to reword the article that is already written. For what it's worth, I think some of the rephrasings are more seantically clear, and I think the additional sources that have been added are valuable for the topic. The formatting looks slightly unpolished, and the sandbox draft could benefit from more photos as in the actual article. That being said, because the article is somewhat large, and the draft here aims to create just a small subsection to include, it is certainly a great start to what could be a value-additive addition to the Halloumi wikipedia page!