User:Mbh90/Transgenerational trauma/Lmv54 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mbh90


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mbh90/Transgenerational_trauma?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Transgenerational trauma

Evaluate the drafted changes
NOTES:

Overall, continue to maintain structure encouraged by Wikipedia platform within Sandbox Draft area

Refugee section -


 * Rephrase sentence due to unclarity
 * Hyphenated longer-lasting
 * Rewrite sentence an active voice (“children are especially…”)
 * Rephrase sentence (“They also often face…”)
 * Consider grammar articles and plurals did not match (“Furthermore…”)
 * Hard to read sentences given the general audience so consider to split into two sentences (“normal caregiving”)
 * Consider rephrasing sentence (“In general…”)

Vietnam war refugees -


 * Conciseness, use of unnecessary words and sentences to avoid redundancy
 * Clarity, sentences hard to follow (“In turn…”)
 * Punctuation, missing commas or adding unnecessary ones
 * Use of unclear antecedents
 * Hard to read sentences considering general audience, consider splitting into two sentences
 * Incomplete comparisons in sentences referring to studies, consider to rewrite in order to complete comparison

Everything in the article is relevant article topic and there was nothing that distracted me besides conciseness, punctuation, clarity, and some grammar issues. I believe that the article did attempt to be neutral by just giving facts based on transgenerational trauma and how certain ethnic refugees learn to cope. I would say that there are not any viewpoints that are overrepresented or underrepresented. After checking all of the citations the links work and the sources support the claims in the article.