User:Mblucas/Tyrone Hayes/Arbiddy Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing the work by Mblucas, Melboun, Noorchaudrhyy, and Smallah/


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mblucas/Tyrone_Hayes?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tyrone Hayes

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, this is a good start. The lead paragraph does not preface the data discrepancy or workplace controversies. Also, the sentence about feminization is not succinct; two of the dependent clauses can be removed. The section will benefit from hints towards the controversial details you all wish to discuss, but that might not be easily accomplished while remaining objective.

The content paragraph will benefit from more and impartial references. As is, there are only two citations from the same source, which does not convey neutrality. Indeed, the last sentence of the data discrepancy section needs rewording. It suggests that Tyrone Hays is not a "reputable" scientist, a claim that does not seem substantiated. Furthermore, the workplace misconduct section needs more text and references from both sides of this perspective.

The sections added could be useful in understanding and demystifying some of the work and controversy with Tyrone Hayes, but it needs to achieve a neutral or two-sided outlook on the subject.