User:Mblucas/Tyrone Hayes/CFB1019 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mblucas, Melboun, Noorchaudhryy, Smallah


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mblucas/Tyrone_Hayes?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Tyrone Hayes

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello,

I will put this peer review in a few different locations because I do not know where it can be accessed. Also, I do not know who made certain changes, so everything I say is for the whole group. I see that some edits were made to the lead section, but they are unnecessary rewordings of the existing content that detract from the original conciseness and clarity. The other main issue is that one source is cited as two different sources; there is a way to cite the same source without creating a new reference ("Cite" button and then "Re-use" button). Some more minor changes that should be made are the removal of an extra space before the word "causing" in the lead section, the removal of the article "the" before "Maryland," and the addition of an apostrophe to the first "Hayes" under the "Workplace Misconduct" section. I like the section that was added about controversies. Are you going to move the part of the existing article that describes the emails to this section?