User:Mblucas/Tyrone Hayes/Pleighs Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

pleighs


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mblucas/Tyrone_Hayes?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Looks good. Concise and well written. I like how you referenced you body paragraph in your lead paragraph. Make sure to address all the topics written about in your article at least briefly in your lead. One technical thing I would change is the use of "as well as" in two consecutive sentences.

Content: I like the article so far. I am interested to see where it goes. I would recommend including a section solely for his work and research (leading into the article about the controversy surrounding it).

Tone and Balance: Avoid the term alarming (used under data discrepancies). It takes on a biased viewpoint. The finally sentence "it should be noted that traditionally" also seems to take on a biased connotation. Stay as neutral as possible.

Sources and References: References look good. You shouldn't need to list the same source as two separate references. Just references the two sentences that used the source as number 1 (not 1 and 2).

Organization: Looks good so far assuming you plan to add a variety of other topics to the body of your article.

Images and Media: Adding images could definitely enhance the article. It would help put a face to the name.

Overall Impression: I like where the article is headed. Keep up the good work.