User:Mbolling20/Boston Massacre Monument/Aballison Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mbe2001


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Editing User:Mbe2001/Boston Massacre Monument - Wikipedia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Boston Massacre Monument - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article clearly explains the appearance of the Boston Massacre Monument and the surroundings around it and beneath it. I am specifically impressed with this description, “"The monument consists of an allegorical female figure representing the Spirit of the Revolution standing atop a granite base in front of a tall granite obelisk adorned with a band of thirteen stars around the top.” It not only gives a description of the female monument but explains what the allegorical female represents. Later on in the paragraph, it states that “It shows five men killed by British troops on March 5, 1770; Crispus Attucks, Samuel Maverick, James Caldwell, Samuel Gray, and Patrick Carr, slain by the British soldiers in front of the Massachusetts State House." I like how the editor added in when the murder took place and who committed it.

I would suggest giving more context to the murderers that took place. I think it would be beneficial to have the events that led up to the murders and what happened next. I do not believe the article answers the why question. I am left with a lot of questions. It would also be beneficial to explain who all of the murdered. Giving more details to the events surrounding it would provide needed context. This will help the audience to be more informed. For example, I think it would help the article if the audience knew the background of the different men killed. For example, Samuel Gray was a Patriot preacher who studied at Princeton.

I think the beginning description of the statue was beautifully constructed, and I believe a description like that would be beneficial in my article. I also liked how Mary added a description of Crispus Attucks and explained who he was.