User:Mbrew23/sandbox

Hand Elephant
Modern hand elephants have been around since the origin of homo sapiens (some 100,000 to 200,000 years ago), although their nearly invisible mark on history is likely due to their incredibly shy and bashful nature. Hand elephants are traditionally absent from the public eye, preferring more intimate settings among people they trust completely. At present, only two hand elephants, Ellie and Paul, appear to be regularly active among a population of an estimated 15 billion worldwide.

Characteristics
Hand elephants are known for their docile nature, fun-loving humor, and occasionally mischievous behavior. They have notoriously short attention spans which can render them apathetic and bored or manically excitable, sometimes even both within seconds of each other. Hand elephants are very musically gifted and often express this through spontaneous dance or instrumental jam sessions. Despite having limited vocal capabilities, hand elephants are master communicators and are no strangers to grand displays of affection, sorrows, and sometimes anger. They are heavily influenced by their respective caretakers, but nonetheless possess very unique, individual personalities.

Displays of Affection
Modern hand elephants are extremely affectionate creatures and are prone to snuggle with humans and fellow hand elephants at any given moment, including when snuggling is less-than-desired by their chosen snuggle partners. Their preferred method of snuggling is of the burrowing variety, often in the crook of the neck. This has been known to create tension between a certain hand elephant and humans, especially because the hand elephant knows that humans don't always like that kind of snuggling, and despite multiple dismissals the hand elephant will undoubtedly persist in attempting to occupy this sensitive area, often resulting in harnessing. Hand elephants are also very generous with kisses despite the fact that they appear to lack lips, except when Snapchat is involved.

Musical Inclination
One of the hand elephant's most prominent traits is that they are very musically talented. Hand elephants can jam to, and get down to, any and all music, ranging from classical to modern tunes. There are no known instruments the hand elephant cannot play and no beat too wild to throw them off rhythm. Ellie is the more gifted instrumentalist of the two, which is no surprise as Paul's legs are, like, all fucked up. While Ellie's dance style is more traditionally flowing and graceful, Paul dabbles in hardcore breakdancing and b-boy styles, evidently inspired by that one time he went to New York City. While the piano and drums are among the hand elephant's more prominent instruments to play, nothing quite compares to their love of playing a funky-ass bassline. This is a large contributing factor in all hand elephants' infatuation with the hit 90's sitcom, Seinfeld.

Obsession with Seinfeld
It is common knowledge that all hand elephants are completely and utterly obsessed with the popular 90's comedy, Seinfeld. The consistent supply of high quality bassline riffs is what initially attracts them, but they wind up staying for the strong portrayal of feminine gusto from Elaine, the terrible acting from Jerry, and the comedic relief Kramer provides. Hand elephants like George, but due to their bashful nature, the sheer cringe-factor of his character will easily send them hiding beneath their front paws or aggressively burrowing into the nearest crook of someone's neck. But hand elephants absolutely adore the series, and by a very large margin, the best odds of seeing a hand elephant out and about is when an episode of the classic show is on. The moment that first bassline hits, they suddenly appear out of thin air to play along with reckless abandon.

Mischievousness
Despite their typically chipper demeanor and good attitude, hand elephants are prone to bouts of playfully aggravating behavior, and sometimes even display physical aggressiveness. Notorious pranksters and "trolls," hand elephants are no strangers to pushing the buttons of any nearby humans, especially when bored or neglected. Most of the offenses are in the form of various attention-getting acts such as undesired prodding, poking, or disregarding of personal space by walking all over a human's face. When severely, moderately, or even just slightly agitated, hand elephants will begin pawing the earth menacingly in the direction of their perceived grievance. If displaying this kind of behavior, a hand elephant may resort to aggressive headbutting or, worse yet, very intentionally ticklish and persistent snuggling. Once this level of aggression has been reached, a human is typically forced to harness the hand elephant in order to deescalate the situation and allow the hand elephant to calm down. While the success rate of harnessing is actually fairly low, diplomatic solutions have proven to be even less effective.

Early life
Ellie was born and raised in Kansas City, MO, but moved all around the United States as a young hand elephant. She was found to be intellectually gifted at a very early age and excelled in both academics and the fine arts. In 2003 she received national recognition for her mastery of the harp, as demonstrated in a full 3-hour concerto broadcast on HBO, although all records of the event have since been lost. Her scholarly successes allowed her to study at some of the most prestigious universities in the world, eventually obtaining a bachelor's degree in hula hooping from William Jewell College and a master's degree in 4-string bass guitar from Johns Hopkins University.

Present Day
Ellie currently lives with her caretaker, Melody, in their cozy town-home in the heart of Washington, D.C. She spends most of her free time cross-stitching and watching reruns of Seinfeld. She is currently pursuing a promising career in radio production, working in tandem with Melody to produce some of the most innovative and intriguing stories around. She maintains a very close relationship with her best friend, Paul, and frequently visits him and his caretaker, Miles, to cross-stitch and watch reruns of Seinfeld with them close by.

Fun Facts

 * Of the two active hand elephants, Ellie is by far the more enthusiastic about snuggling. She is known to feign ignorance over the discomfort her snuggly advances cause humans, particularly Miles, and then gets super pissed off when she gets harnessed for very valid and obvious reasons. Melody often comes to the defense of Ellie during these situations, but we all know she's just being a bad hand elephant on purpose and deserves to be harnessed.
 * Ellie has never farted in her entire life.
 * Ellie once won a Miss Hand Elephant Universe pageant despite her controversial choice of donning a burka for the swimsuit portion of the competition.
 * Ellie invented the popular catch phrase "talk to the hand."
 * As a child, Ellie claimed to have to have psychic abilities. Although never formally proven, she counted down from 10 at a stoplight once, and the light turned green right when she reached zero. The acting Pope was unable to determine if the phenomenon was an actual miracle, but went on record to proclaim, "nice," in regards to the event.

Early Life
Paul was born and raised in rural Virginia, although he claims the part where he's from is suburban (see article on Catharpin). Paul grew up with a deep love of art, music, and skateboarding, a combination that nearly cost him his life in 2007 after an abstract performance piece involving a live rendition of Green Day's album, Dookie, on mandolin while skateboarding over a 2-story dollar sign went terribly, horribly wrong. Miraculously, he was able to walk away from the incident, but not without a new set of wonky looking appendages and the inability to clap. Paul did not take well to traditional schooling and instead relied on his instinctual wit, musical abilities, and mooching constantly off of his caretaker, Miles, in order to get by. He graduated high school in 2009 [Source Needed].

Present Day
Paul currently lives with Miles in their suburban apartment in Northern Virginia. He actively engages in oil painting, cooking, and watching reruns of Seinfeld. His current goal in life is to befriend Miles' cat, Bucket, full-time without fear of being scratched or bitten. He adores his best friend, Ellie, and they frequently get together to practice their music, dance, and watch reruns of Seinfeld.

Fun Facts

 * Paul is an excellent air glider, and only needs a slight breeze in order to take off and zoom around a room.
 * Paul once met Kanye West, but after some confusion on how to proceed with a traditional handshake/high-five greeting, they parted ways on bitter terms.
 * Of the two known hand elephants, Paul is the more docile and generally nice one. He's not better than Ellie, but by all metrics is better behaved. This is indisputable within the hand elephant community. He is a very good hand elephant, yes he is.
 * Paul absolutely LOVES rice pudding.
 * In 2000, Paul was approached by the Canadian rock group, Nickleback, to join as a bass player to record their soon-to-be breakout album, Silver Side Up. Citing personal scheduling conflicts and a distaste for "shitty, rotten, poutine, garbage, Canuck-rock music," he politely declined. He was quoted years later as saying it was the biggest mistake of his life.