User:McGSoc/Health in the Philippines/801johnna Peer Review

General info
McGSoc
 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Link to draft you're reviewing?
 * User:McGSoc/Health in the Philippines


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Health in the Philippines:

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: You need to develop this more. Try to add an introductory sentence that bridges the overall article content with what you are updating. What you have so far is concise, but your lead is underdeveloped. If you work on this part, I think you will find a flow to a new section or aspect of health in the Philippines that you have researched. *Tip: go back to your research paper and find what you are most proud of or what you think you know and learned most. See if you can develop those ideas into this assignment.

Content: These first few sentences are great. I can already envision that almost a quarter of the population is very poor, so I'm conceiving that there is a big percentage of the population that is "almost poor"/struggling. Expand on your viewpoint.

Tone & Balance: Statistical introduction is balances and factual. The tone is authoritative and informational. The tone is neutral.

Sources and References: So far your references are great; links are working and relevant to your contributions. I would like to see some ethnographic information so I can get a sense of the reality of what these numbers mean. A combination of stats and lived experience samples will help you develop your contribution. Your sources are current and your content reflects accurate information taken from them.

Organization: Remember to follow your legend. I believe these are your original contributions that are very well written and interpretive of the cited source material. You will get there...just keep developing the content that you think is important to add to the article.

Images and Media: N/A

Overall Impression: Great start. Much more is needed. The content will improve and update the Wiki article. The strengths of the contributions are the factual accuracy of both sentences.