User:McGSoc/Stunted growth/801johnna Peer Review

General info
McGSoc
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:McGSoc/Stunted growth
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Stunted growth

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Clear and Concise. Addresses article's topic in area. Provides detailed, yet concise, statistics on stunting in the Philippines and causation of problem.

Lead: Check subsections/sections and make sure you address those in your Philippines heading. You definitely address most of them, but decide if you want to discuss the health effects of stunting in Philippines and any details about diagnosis of stunting in Philippines.

Content: Your content is excellent and concise. It is relevant, up-to-date, and all sentences belong. There is nothing that I would cut. You could include diagnosis and health effects if you decide (see above). You could also include info related to the Sustainable Development Goals of the United Nations by 2030, if these SDGs apply to Philippines [is the Philippines a country that is included in this SDG program?]. You may talk "Scaling Up Nutrition Movement" SUN--50 countries have joined the SUN movement and according to your source called "The Philippines renews its commitment to nutrition with updated action", it is part of this. --These suggestions may help tie what you contribute to the original article.

Tone & Balance: neutral, scientific and statistically based. Great work! It would seem to me that you have already mastered the "encyclopedia voice." No persuasion, no viewpoint that is skewed heavily.

Sources and References: All links work. Your sources are current and hold authority to your topic. Accurate reflections. Michelle-you really are great at placing your text in a logical order and using your sources accurately to paint a story of the stunted growth in the Philippines. You did not use random website sources and didn't use news articles. Your research is deep and thorough. You found the best sources as far as I'm concerned.

Organization: Well organized and well-written. I didn't find any spelling or grammatical errors. You could add a section about socio-economics and the global politic and where Philippines sits in the landscape of these movements and organizations. You have already included some info on the PPAN. You could tie PPAN to SUN and the SDGs in a subheading under Philippines.

Images and Media: N/A

Overall impression: Your contributed text is very authoritative and professional. You are a pro at using the sources and pulling the needed text from them to contribute in a meaningful way to this topic. I am very impressed! KEEP GOING!!! Excellent work.