User:Mcguirp/Music education/Pennyseilyon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mcguirp


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * user:mcguirp/music_education
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Music education

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Mcguirp! Here is my peer review for your addition to music education:

Lead


 * This article is pretty well developed already, so I understand why you did not make any changes to the lead and other parts of the current version of the article.

Content


 * You have developed the Latin America section of the article which I think is a great addition. I think the changes you made to the existing small section helped with readability and that your additions were valuable to the topic.
 * One thing I suggest is to add the whole section on South America to your sandbox to show what has been edited/added and how it will fit into the original article (eg will your section be a subheading under South America? Or a regular heading?)
 * I like that there is some historical background to this section, but what do you think about focusing more on education to contextualize some of the parts that are more general information about music in Latin America? For instance, the section on hip-hop for Indigenous revitalization and how Indigenous peoples in Latin America use music to celebrate their culture - these might be better found in this article: music of Latin America which is more general. However, I think it's great that you included information about the Indigenous peoples in Latin America and this is a good way to address one of Wikipedia's equity gaps - is there a way you can make this section more focused on the education aspect?

Tone and Balance


 * The content is neutral. I think you did a good job of highlighting the history, the influence of colonization, and present day of music education. You included multiple groups of people that are relevant to the topic.

Sources and References


 * I think your sources are well placed and thorough.

Organization
 * For the most part, your content is up-to-date. There are some sources that are older than 10 years old, like "Music Education in Fourteen Latin-American Republics," which is from 1945. I am not familiar with this topic so maybe these are important sources, but otherwise I may suggest updating some of these.


 * Your content is well written and clear.
 * The section is ordered chronologically, which makes sense for the topic and historical context.

Overall impressions


 * I think your additions are great. The section on Latin America is quite brief in the current version of the article, so I think your expanded section is important.
 * Like I mentioned under 'content,' I think your content could be improved by making the historical context a bit more concise and adding some info that is more relevant to the 'education' side of the topic.

- Penny