User:Mckalet/Respectability politics/Ivy&Fern2003 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mckalet


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * link to the draft


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Respectability politics

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall Impressions: Great start! Really focus on changing the tone and fixing the citations and it will be a great addition to the Respectability page.

Organization: The organization is helpful. By explaining what the politics are first before going into detail about how this could harm women the reader is able to differentiate between what it is and the outcomes of it. Again I think making a clearer statement about how this section is different is important.

Tone: I think the tone of this piece should be more neutral. While I agree with the points made, because Wiki is an encyclopedia that must be neutral a few sentences/the last paragraph start to become persuasive. Specifically, at the end with the sentence about what we as a society should do instead is trying to get the reader to believe one thing over the other and that's not supposed to be the purpose of a wiki article. I think by laying out the information of how respectability politics affects black women the reader will come to their own conclusions.

Content: The content is very interesting. I think that a reader can become confused on the differences between this section and the section that Black Respectability Politics. Therefore I would maybe make the double bind explanation/intersectional approach more clear in the first paragraph. Because this section is going into the bigger page the first paragraph of just explaining what respectability politics are seems repetitive and unnecessary.

References: The references need to be restructured. First, the full citations should be generated through wiki so that the links to the sources are embedded correctly. Second, there needs to be intext citations-- which are really easy to add through wiki, I believe there's a training that goes over how to do it. Right now, there aren't any in text citations so the reader doesn't know which statements come from which sources. This is a big problem and should be fixed. The sources themselves are great, coming from reputable sources that seem to all be peer reviewed. I'm not sure how transferring your intext citations to the main article works but you should still have them in your draft.