User:Mcolletti 2/Isidore of Miletus/Jpegthebitmap Peer Review

Alright, nice, let's get into the review.

So right off the back I would recommend citing as you go. It makes it a lot easier to get the correct citation. I'll be examining the Teachings and Edits heading.

Not sure about using so-called, check the style guide. On Archimedes and Euclid, in what time. Also, you should hyperlink to those pages if it has not already been done. One of the most incredible things about Wikipedia is its hyperlink system; I would encourage you to include them.

A problem I'm seeing in your style of writing is that you use a lot of pronouns and repetitive nouns/verbs. If you can, try using accurate synonyms (there's no shame in having a thesaurus open as long as you don't overdo it! Think JSTOR article) instead of repeating.

Not sure about the quotation marks around "School of Isidore"; I understand that it is not established if it is true or not, so just check the style guide.

Other than that, it looks good.

Response:
I really like a lot of what you're saying here. The first thing that sticks out to me having now gone back in and re-read the article is working on my syntax. You're right that some of the pronouns are a little odd, and a lot of what I've said doesn't flow well with the original article. I plan on going back into my sandbox and cleaning up the syntax: using more accurate words, removing any bias I can find, and clarifying who I'm talking about. Additionally, I plan on going back in and adding the sources that I reference but don't have in yet. I read about different references within my first source, but haven't gone back in to find those and put them in my article yet.

Stuff I'll be doing:


 * Reading article aloud to see if there are sections that don't flow together very well.
 * Removing the phrase "so-called" and replacing with a more descriptive adjective
 * Adding a time frame for when Isidore revitalized Archimedes and Euclidian math
 * Clean up the last paragraph I have written to make sure it flows and works
 * Add more information from additional sources